Alt-rock cult poets Aaron Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo, aka Gene and Dean Ween – hatched in Pennsylvania, 1984 – aren’t doing any post-reunion press, so I made up this interview using Ween lyrics.
Austin Chronicle: Gene, you unexpectedly terminated Ween in 2012. How did you break the news to your bandmates?
Gene Ween: Falling out, it’s the end, may as well have never been – the cards are up, the chips are all cashed in. You won’t see me again, don’t consider me your friend. Falling out, look away, it’s the end.
AC: That’s pretty harsh considering you quit to kick booze and drugs. Dean, how did you react after Gene’s onstage blackout meltdown in Vancouver shortly before the breakup?
Dean Ween: You dicked me over, but now you’ll pay. You fucked up!
AC: What was said between then and now that led to Ween reuniting?
GW: I want to know, do you feel the same way? ‘Cause if you do, I want to stay forever with you.
AC: Wow, that’s really touching. It’s gonna be so unusual to see you together again!
GW: Like a Japanese cowboy, or a brother on skates!
AC: Right. Now that you’re sober, what have the green room spreads looked like at the reunion shows?
GW: There were candy and spices and tricolored pastas. The meat carved was drawn from succulent juices, served on platters of the purest gold.
AC: Sounds delicious! What can fans expect at Levitation?
DW: All the hippies gonna lick the mind of God. They’ve already been immersed in the wad because it’s a mushroom festival in hell.
This article appears in April 29 • 2016.