The Luv Doc: Disgusting Fruitcake

Per usual 2014 was a particularly puzzling year for misogynists, homophobes, and paranoiacs – the slow movers who got bulldozed by the cow catcher of evolution. Fortunately there were plenty of answers in the advice satchel. Here are 10 bon mots from 2014 (in no particular order): On replacing vowels: When you insert an asterisk…

The Year in Food

Top 10 LOCAL BEER LABELS 1) JESTER KING/LIVE OAK KOLLABORATIONSBIER Featuring the uncanny likeness of Live Oak Brewing’s Chip McElroy (albeit with very high, tight buns), this collaboration between Live Oak head brewer Dusan Kwiatkowski and Jester King illustrator Josh Cockrell playfully antagonizes while also offering a subtle criticism of the objectification of women in…

Hornography

Watching the 2014 Longhorns has been like watching an avant-garde performance artist create a giant mural by throwing buckets of paint at a wall and using abstract objects as brushes. The audience may think they’re beginning to see the end result, but it just honestly looks like a jumbled wall of garbage. There were some…

The Year in Food

Top 10 fine dining on a budget 1) BARLATA The best – and only – authentic Spanish restaurant in town also has a killer happy hour, with half off many of their most popular tapas, including a $7 daily paella (with a cocktail pairing for $10), $5 house wines, and $3 Estrella Damm on draft.…

Top 10 Local Sports Moments

10) Rick Perry made it an entire year of going for light jogs without shooting anything I believe this to be true to the best of my knowledge, but we’ve still got a week left and Perry could use a bump in the polls. 9) Rick Barnes’ agent got him an extension somehow Texas went…

William Goss’ Top 10 List

1) Boyhood Sorry, haters. Richard Linklater’s masterpiece of conceptual ambition and casual profundity will rightfully endure, corny plumbers and all. 2) Blue Ruin Anchored by Macon Blair’s devastating performance, this stomach-knotting revenge saga marks a significant leap forward for filmmaker Jeremy Saulnier. 3) The Babadook Jennifer Kent’s well-acted and confidently creepy directorial debut brings back…

Hurts So Good

Amy Gentry’s top reads of 2014 thematized suffering in language so beautiful, she winced with every word

Hurts So Good

Jessi Cape’s top reads of 2014 show welcome signs of improvement in the way women are celebrated in literature

Kimberley Jones’ Top 10 List

1) Force Majeure Ruben Östlund blew the roof off with his bravura black comedy about what it means to be a man, a woman, and/or/always a fallible human being. 2) The Grand Budapest Hotel Grand is the right word, all right. Also: antic, slapstick, humanistic, and terribly, tenderly sorrowful. 3) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue…

The Year in Food

Top 10 LOCAL Trends 1) Y’ALL COME BACK NOW If 2014 happened faster than a knife fight in a phone booth, Southern food slowed us down. Whether from a humble Airstream (Red Star Southern) or an Eastside oasis (Jacoby’s), pimento cheese was everywhere. 2) THE BRASSICA RING If brussels sprouts are the Margo Channing of…

Civics 101

Thursday 01/01 No Phone use while driving Use of electronic handheld devices while operating a vehicle, including bicycles, is now a class C misdemeanor, with fines up to $500. The City of Austin. Resource Recovery Slide Day Your collection day slides to one day later if it falls on the next two days: Thursday pickup…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Oddities, Frivolities, and Absurdities in Austin food 1) DESIGNER ICE CUBES Not content with artisanal liquors, Half Step, Drink.Well, No Va, and others are getting ice into the act, serving it up in big blocks and customized shapes. 2) HOUSE-MADE SPARKLING WATER I was offered this at laV earlier this year. (Code for…

Headlines

City Council is on holiday hiatus and electoral interregnum: Mayor-elect Steve Adler and the 10 Council members will be inaugurated Jan. 6 at City Hall, where there should be enough chairs. (The first regular meeting of the new Council is scheduled for Jan. 29.) If you’re reading this on Jan. 2 – don’t do it…

Mr. Smarty Pants Knows

Author and psychic-medium Betsey Lewis predicts Marilyn Monroe’s diary will be rediscovered in 2015 and it will reveal that she knew too much. Psychic Craig Hamilton-Parker predicts satellites will have serious problems throughout 2015 and many communications will be down. According to the Spiritual Science Research Foundation, World War III will begin in 2015 and…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Vegetarian Dishes 1) SMOKY HEN OF THE WOODS, OLAMAIE I sampled this dish at an early pop-up, and it’s what got me excited about the restaurant. Once Olamaie opened its doors, this hearty, flavor-bomb of a dish didn’t disappoint. 2) WUNDERSHOWZEN SMOOTHIE, JUICELAND Sometimes you want a smoothie with some heft, one that…

Marjorie Baumgarten’s Top 10 List

1) Boyhood A formal experiment becomes a naturalistic drama and documentary about the human experience. 2) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) It begins in mid-levitation, and soars steadily higher, creating a gravitational pull all its own. 3) Ida This unforgiving Polish drama reminds us that the present is merely an inescapable accumulation of…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Global Grub 1) A+A SICHUAN CHINA Cyndi and Ling have edged ahead of their just-down-the-road rival, Asia Cafe, for dominance in Austin’s Sichuan food scene. 2) BALKAN CAFE & GRILL Z and Zakilna, with Chef Goran at the stove, are putting out the finest chicken sandwich that Austin has ever seen, not to…

Critics Poll

Best Roadshow Beets: Protomartyr, North Door Caligiuri: Trombone Shorty, Emo’s Curtin: Jayke Orvis & the Broken Band, Holy Mountain Freeman: Nick Cave, ACL Live at the Moody Theater Hernandez: Nick Cave, ACL Live Spearman: Childish Gambino, ACL Live Stegall: The Gories, Red 7 Toland: Nick Cave, ACL Live Trachtenberg: Mavericks, ACL Live Best Local Show…

Josh Kupecki’s Top 10 List

1) Force Majeure With exacting precision, this film turns a fight-or-flight moment into a wicked treatise on trust, identity, and the tenuous bonds of, well, everybody. 2) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Iñárritu finally pulls the stick out of his butt, and the results are fireworks. Imagine that! Dude from Beetlejuice is pretty…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Savory Bites 1) BISCUITS, OLAMAIE The best $3+ biscuits in town aren’t on the menu, but they are well worth the asking price. Skip the schmaltz, go with honey butter. 2) BURNT PEACH SAUCE, OLAMAIE The depth and complexity of this Texas summer flavor enhanced a toothsome pork chop. 3) BRUSSELS SPROUTS, HIGHTOWER…

Steve Davis’ Top 10 List

1) Boyhood Richard Linklater’s gutsy 12-years-a-movie experiment pays off in so many rich and rewarding ways. 2) Whiplash A mesmerizing showdown of male egos in which insults and drumsticks are the weapons of choice. 3) The Lego Movie Everything is AWESOME about this surprisingly smart and funny movie that sets a new bar for animated…

Marc Savlov’s Top 10 List

1) Boyhood Richard Linklater’s soulful, cinematic masterwork is utterly sui generis, and it’s almost certainly more timeless than childhood itself. 2) Only Lovers Left Alive Bela Lugosi is dead but this dreamy portrait of eternal love in a jugular vein is louche, alive, and biting. 3) A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night Speaking of…

The Year in Food

Top 10 local Food blogs 1) LOVE & LEMONS Another year of hitting the ball out of the park for Jeanine Donofrio. This blog has kept up with frequent posting, topical recipes, engaging writing, and as always, the graphic design is stunning. www.loveandlemons.com 2) HILAH COOKING In addition to making videos, posting recipes, and writing…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Sweet Bites 1) MACARONS, LAV Whether in rainbow hues and flavors as they were at Sips & Sweets, filled with peaches in the summer, or made with chocolate, caramel, and nuts in the fall, I always wish for Janina O’Leary’s delicate French treats by the truckload. 2) TEXAS WHISKEY PECAN CARAMEL GELATO, TEO…

The Year in Food

Top 10 Food nonprofits 1) GREEN CORN PROJECT Named for a Native American celebration, Green Corn digs in and helps underserved communities learn the magic of building and maintaining organic gardens – demonstrating that fostering a love between children and homegrown veggies is the future. 2) URBAN ROOTS Through paid internships, Urban Roots teaches sustainable…

Soccer Watch: Top 10 Soccer Stories of 2014

There were two really big soccer stories in Austin this year: The Austin Aztex transitioning from amateur to pro, and World Cup fever engulfing the town for a month mid-summer. Each could make a Top 10 list on its own. 1) Austin Aztex go pro, with an expanded ownership team The Aztex finished their three-year…


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