The tongue-in-cheek menu is running for one day to coincide with comedians Anthony Atamanuik and James Adomian’s show “Trump vs. Bernie – Clash of the Titans,” presented by Paramount Social and Moontower Comedy at nearby The Stateside. The mock debate naturally needed some mocking cocktails, so the bar rose to the occasion. Named after the remaining slate of candidates (and the recent dropout Jeb!), the drinks are sure to calm your partisan rancor.
Cocktails for CandidatesTrump
A Manhattan made with Canadian whisky because if he wins we’re moving to Vancouver
$12
Bernie
A can of Lone Star and a shot of Fernet, but the bartender gets to drink the shot
$4
Hillary
A rye whiskey Ole Fashioned that’s really actually pretty great, but maybe you should have ordered something more exciting
$8
Jeb!
A $157 million vodka soda that never actually shows up
$157,600,000
John Kasich
A perfectly reasonable cocktail that you are still not gonna order, so why bother describing it?
$9
Marco Rubio
A classic, Cuban-style daiquiri
$8
Ted Cruz
The same as Marco Rubio’s daiquiri, but somehow a lot less likable
$8
Ben Carson
Some warm milk and an Ambien
Set a $20 bill on fire
This article appears in February 26 • 2016.