1. There shalt be NO other puppies before me.

2. NO other puppy shall be served food BEFORE me.

3. NO other puppy shall be served MORE food than me.

4. NO other puppy may be picked up BEFORE me.

5. NO other puppy shall be held LONGER than me.

6. NO other puppy shall be held at the SAME TIME as me.

7. NO other puppy shall be allowed to sleep CLOSER to you.

8. NO other puppy shall be offered dirty socks or underwear BEFORE me.

9. NO other puppy shall be allowed to BITE Addison’s weenie before me.

10. NO other puppy shall be allowed to slip his or her tongue UP your nose.

This article appears in February 4 • 2000.

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