Three things that have little in common, except their proximity in the common idiom. Behold a set of gifts that will please people who like playing pool, people who like playing in pools, and prehistoric creatures that definitely shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near pools.

1) Plush hammerhead at Texas Capitol Gift Shop ($15, www.texascapitolgiftshop.com)

2) Real live Bala sharks ($12.99, www.austinaquadome.com)

3) Hooked & Happy flamingo pool float earrings ($24, www.etsy.com/shop/hookedandhappyco)

4) SouvenirPatch embroidered flaming eight-ball iron-on patch ($6.95, www.etsy.com/shop/souvenirpatch)

5) Midcentury mod Brevik pool table ($5,999, www.austinbilliards.com)

6) Juli Clay Shop whale shark keychain ($16.50, www.etsy.com/shop/juliclayshop)

7) Brittany Allen banana one-piece ($56, www.shopbrittanyallen.com)

8) Vintage Coca-Cola cooler ($175, www.etsy.com/shop/snarkilyadorableco)

9) One-hour professional billiards lesson at GolfTennisLessonsATX ($47, www.golftennislessonsatx.com/pocket-billiards)

10) M3is3D shark head headphone hanger ($64, www.etsy.com/shop/M3is3D)


Pool Sharks, Pools, and Sharks: A Playlist

In the spirit of pool sharks, pools, and sharks, all of these songs have some connection (at times a rather loose one) to either pools or sharks. Together they form a wild-ride soundtrack for a totally bitchin’ game of pool.

Drinking game if you want to be hospitalized later: Take a shot for every utterance of the word “shark.”

Drinking game if you value your life: Do prayer-hands on your head like a shark’s dorsal fin whenever you hear the word shark. Any friend who fails to fin up must drink up.

“Shark Smile” – Big Thief

“Swim and Sleep (Like a Shark)” – Unknown Mortal Orchestra

“Jump’n” – Uncle Roy & Spice

“Pool” – Tricot

“I Love You” – Fontaines D.C.

“Galveston” – Why Bonnie

“Automatic Stop” – The Strokes

“New Bait” – Die Spitz

“Deep End” – Lykke Li

“Drown” – Mk.gee

“Werewolf” – Fiona Apple

“Donut Seam” – Adrianne Lenker

“Shark” – Oh Wonder

“Underwater” – Porches

“Dead Shark (Girly-Sound Version)” – Liz Phair

“Pooling Rain” – Variety

This article appears in December 6 • 2024.

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