The Luv Doc: The Romance Scene in Austin

Dear Luv Doc,

I don’t know what to make of the romance scene in Austin. I’m on the apps, despite my steady reluctance, and I’m getting matches but conversations are challenging and I don’t get why everyone feels the need to text first, meet up later. I can understand that some of us are getting so many matches that a decent conversation needs to be had first, but is texting in an attempt to bypass the small talk and pretend we’re having an in-person conversation really that necessary? Wouldn’t it be so much more efficient and human to just meet in person and text later? Granted, this is coming from someone who will find any and every excuse to stay off my phone if and when given any opportunity, but I feel like that’s the ironic point of the apps anyway. Staying on my phone is just driving my loneliness further, so why am I relying on an app to lead the way in the future of my romantic life? How do I find my future girl without sounding like an asshole who hates the modern dating scene?

– BumbleCee

Yes, agreed. Meeting in person would be more efficient … and human. The only problem is that, historically, male humans have really shit the bed when it comes to in-person interactions with the opposite sex, so you can probably understand why women are reluctant to have an in-person meeting with a complete stranger who they’ve never met and know nothing about. Now, I imagine there are some outraged incels out there thinking, “But not me! I haven’t shit the bed!” That may be true. Your record might be unsullied. If so, slow clap, but that doesn’t negate the fact that at least a certain percentage of men aren’t to be trusted. And truly, you don’t need to crack a history book to have a healthy fear of strange men. There are plenty of sketchy psychopaths running around right fucking now. There’s even one in the Oval Office who recently tried to get the Supreme Court to overturn the sexual assault charges he was convicted of in a case brought by one of his victims. You wanna hear something crazy? The worst Supreme Court in U.S. history just recently rejected his appeal. They were like, “Nah dawg. We ain’t letting you off that hook. You guilty as fuck.”

Worse still, there is a sobering percentage of the American public that currently thinks their rapey psychopath cult leader president is being persecuted for “normal, locker room-type, red-blooded bro behavior.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any of the women in my life anywhere near any of them – not even in a church pew. Call me elitist, but I don’t think women should have to throw themselves under that bus just so some well-meaning, truly nice guys won’t be annoyed or butt-hurt about the precautions aimed to protect them. Nobody ever got roofied, raped, or sexually assaulted in a text exchange. About the worst thing that can happen in a text exchange is that you reveal who you really are. Ironically, that can also be the best thing.

All that said, I personally fucking hate texting and DMing and I put sentences together all the time – beautiful, often hilariously genius (or perhaps geniously hilarious?) – sentences that, as God is my witness, my texting app routinely autocorrects into utter gibberish or even worse, nauseatingly bland mediocrity, which makes me think that the robots won’t kill us with lasers but rather stultifying boredom. Even still, I saddle up the swayback horse of texting on the regular because I know that most people nowadays prefer to communicate with a mixture of emojis and incorrect homophone choices. Do I like it? Not one bit, but we are where we are, so here’s my suggestion:

If you want to meet women and talk to them like a normal person, maybe go to places, events, and activities where there are women and make some women friends. I am not talking about some manufactured singles event or sausage-slinging meat market. I’m thinking maybe a yoga class, a cycling club, a sports league, or any one of the increasing multitude of mixed-gender meetups that have been popping up in response to increasing disillusionment with online dating. You can even leave your phone at home. If you get lucky and get some digits, write them on your palm with a ballpoint pen like an old-school baller.

This article appears in July 17 • 2026.