The Luv Doc: Simple Logistics

Dear Luv Doc,

I have been nearly completely out of dating for about a year. I am an active dancer around town making friends and enjoying local music. A couple of months ago, I felt like I was receiving signals of interest from my favorite dance partner and began pursuing her. I thought things were going well and was getting ready to step it up a notch. Last night I introduced her to my favorite band and she informed me that she is moving across the country in January. We both expressed some sadness about this, and she wants my opinion on how to proceed. I feel very confused, I’m not sure how I could ask for anything but two months of casual dating at most. I almost never meet a person mutually interested that I feel like I share this much in common with. Should I have been making more aggressive moves? Is there any way to salvage the situation? I don’t feel like I have enough time now to do anything about this.

– Thank you, Active Dancer

When you say “across the country,” is that width or breadth? Actually, nevermind. It takes longer to fly to Bismarck, North Dakota, than it does to fly to Seattle. It’s also more expensive. Make that make sense, but Google maps don’t lie. Honestly, I’m not even sure you can fly to Bismarck, North Dakota, in January. I’m pretty sure that January through April, anywhere north of Omaha is only accessible by dog sled. If you don’t believe me, ask Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, or the Big Bopper … oh, but you can’t, can you? Why? Because the levee is dry. I think I’ve proven my point.

So, unless your favorite dance partner is a White Walker or of Nordic descent, it’s highly unlikely she’s moving across the country due north, and due south isn’t across the country, it’s across the state. It’s big state for sure, but given enough water, some night vision goggles, and an AR-15 with some hog rounds, you could probably walk to Harlingen in five days, although my buddy Marcus recommends Southwest Airlines. I suspect he just likes the free peanuts.

That leaves either New York or L.A. – either of which are reachable in less time than it takes to drive to San Angelo, and at nearly the same cost – especially in January when the airlines pretty much pay you to go to New York. As much as I applaud their pendulous big apples in electing an openly socialist mayor and as much as I want to encourage tourism to that heroic city, it can wait until June. New York is a frozen hellscape in January. You might as well be dogsledding up to Bismarck.

That leaves L.A. L.A. is a magical place full of beauty and wonder … well, unless you’re one of those gotch-eyed MAGA boomers glued to your recliner watching rehashed Fox News footage of the 1992 L.A. riots. Hey grandpa, if it was actually happening today it would at least be filmed in HD. Were it not for the fact that roughly 10 million other people live there, L.A. would be a goddamned edenic utopia. Unfortunately, that is not the case, but the one thing you can’t say ’bout L.A. is that it’s inaccessible. A couple of C-notes and you can be there in less time than it takes to watch Killers of the Flower Moon. Spoiler alert: Never trust white people. It’s in the Bible: “Trust the Lord with all your heart but keep an eye on the paleskins.” Look, I get that the prospect of a long-term relationship is daunting, especially if you’ve already reached baller status here in River City, but if you want your favorite dance partner to be more than your favorite dance partner, you’re going to need to commit to more than a couple of two-steps to your favorite band. I think it’s a really good sign that she’s asked you how to proceed. The only correct answer to that question comes courtesy of Friday Night Lights: clear eyes, full hearts. Don’t leave something special on the table just because of simple logistics. Figure it out, follow your heart, and step it up a notch – or maybe even three notches – but first, tell her how you really feel. It could be that she doesn’t really want to leave at all.

This article appears in November 21 • 2025.