The Luv Doc: Nice, Welcoming People

Dear Luv Doc,

I have been dating a divorced man for a little over a year and a half. I met him through a dating site (I am divorced myself) and found him to be sweet, patient, and responsible. He’s also attractive and does well financially, which doesn’t hurt. We are both in our 50s and have children. His are still in high school and mine are now in college. They have met on several occasions and get along. Overall, it’s been great so far except for one thing. There is a woman in his friends group who seems to really dislike me. The group is mostly parents of kids who are roughly the same age and have known each other since elementary school. She is divorced as well, but, in case you might be suspicious, had nothing to do with his divorce. I asked him if they ever had a thing, and he said no. He was very clear about that, but she is always hovering around him when there is any social gathering. She always ignores me, talks over me rudely, and actively tries not to recognize my presence. I asked my boyfriend if he has noticed this, and he said he has and that he doesn’t know what her problem is. He said she is nice once you get to know her, but, as I said to him, it’s been over a year and she still hasn’t gotten nicer to me. I asked if she was friends with his ex, and he said she has never met his ex. All of his other friends have been really nice and welcoming. This situation just feels so childish. I am not sure what to do. What do you think?

Cold Shouldered in Circle C

From the outside it seems like you might have snatched the most eligible bachelor in her friend group right out from under her nose. D’oh! That’s not on you, of course. She needs to get on the apps. Or maybe she is and your boyfriend didn’t swipe right. Regardless, you seem to be catching the heat for her inability to nail him down over the course of a long friendship. Ouch. That’s gotta hurt. As she would probably tell you herself, life isn’t fair. She didn’t see you coming. You didn’t know that by getting a boyfriend you were also getting an enemy. That’s just how it shook out.

However, as spot-on as my wild speculation might be, there is still a lot you don’t know, which is why I think it’s important to exercise caution with her going forward. Bitch might be crazy … like, legit crazy, although I would think that might have been a topic of discussion among his friends that you would have been a party to. That leads me to wonder … if his friends are so nice to you and your boyfriend is such a sweet guy, why haven’t they said anything to her about her behavior? 

If you’ll allow me to saddle up my high horse for a second, I find the lack of action by your boyfriend and his friends deeply disturbing. Like, part of being a decent boyfriend is being a stand-up guy when someone is treating your girlfriend like shit. Part of being a decent human being is not being complacent when someone is treating someone else horribly for no discernible reason – and allowing that behavior to go on for more than a year? Nope.

If you’ll allow me to rear my high horse further up on its hind legs: This type of behavior is precisely what is wrong with America as a whole right now. We have an absolute psychopath of a president who is being enabled by a disturbingly wide swath of elected officials and business leaders – people like Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick, Ted Cruz, Ken Paxton, Elon Musk, and their ilk. Their level of spinelessness and selfishness is absolutely nauseating. I sincerely hope none of those soulless sycophants are in anybody’s elementary school parents friends group. Ick.

So, as far as I can tell, you have done nothing to warrant this woman’s ire. Your boyfriend and his friends, it would seem, have done nothing to abate it. I don’t think you need to do anything other than give this woman a wide berth. However, I think your boyfriend and his friends need to step the fuck up and tell their friend to stop being a horrible person. That’s what nice, welcoming people do.

This article appears in October 2 • 2026.