Dear Luv Doc,
About a year ago, my 82-year-old mother was having issues with the computer my dad bought her sometime around the turn of the century. Sadly, my dad is no longer with us, so I had to step in and help my mom clean up a bunch of viruses, bloatware, etc. from her computer. Well, I did such a good job that she told my aunt, who is 80, that I would be happy to come fix her computer for free – which I did, because like my mom, she lives alone and spends a lot of time on the internet. She was so happy with my work she had me help her sister-in-law. Smash cut to April 2026, and I have become the de facto IT department for all the old people in my family. I’m not even that into computers, I just know more than your average geriatric. I spend a good amount of time trying to protect them from weird AI posts and various scams and it’s been running me ragged – especially on the weekends. How do I get out of this job without seeming like a mean, ungrateful nephew? I just want to get my weekends back for biking and beers … is that so wrong?
– Good With Computers
One time a decade or so back when I was visiting my dad, he confided in me that he thought there was a man in his computer. I made him clarify because sometimes he would mix too much whiskey with his meds. “Are you telling me there is a little tiny man inside your computer?” I asked. I was thinking that, depending on his response, I might have to contact a mental health professional, but he said, “No, I mean I think there is someone controlling my computer.” He then showed me that sometimes his mouse pointer would move without him touching the mouse. My first thought was that maybe my mom might be trying to contact him from the grave, but then I did a quick Google search and found out that sometimes if the track ball gets too dirty it can cause the mouse pointer to move on its own. I popped the cover and reeled out a disturbing amount of hair, gunk, schmutz, and whatnot, and lo and behold the little man in the computer went away – or maybe my mom’s spirit lost her sense of mischief. Regardless, problem solved.
Every subsequent trip to the old man’s place from that instance forward became a quest to declutter his desktop – literal and virtual – just enough to allow him to play Wordle on some virus-riddled gaming site. After he fell down in the shower from overdosing on blood thinners one summer, I enlisted the help of my brothers in convincing him to move to a managed care facility. Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “Roll it back there, Luv Doc … how does one overdose on blood thinners?” Good question, dear Reader! Here’s the formula: You get one of those plastic day-of-the-week pill containers, and then you forget whether you actually took your pill or if you simply forgot to refill the pill container. Maybe you forget a few times in one day, and then maybe you pass out in the shower because your blood pressure is dangerously low – like Michael Jordan’s in the last 20 seconds of Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals. Maybe you’re not even sure how long you were passed out in the shower, but when you wake up the bruising from your extra-thinned blood is really impressive – the kind of massive wine stain splotch that would send a normal person screaming to the ER rather than just ignoring it because they “don’t want to be a bother.”
There’s a happy ending to this horrific story, of course. Me and the bros got him into a managed care facility where he absolutely thrived until he passed away at a ripe old age. The takeaway from these meanderings is that, even when they absolutely refuse to acknowledge it, people need to be around other people. As much as I like computers, they’re currently not an adequate substitute. Very likely you’re running yourself ragged so these folks can have some companionship that they should be seeking elsewhere. I am not saying you should cut them off entirely, but rather that you should redirect their focus to connecting to people in the physical world rather than in the virtual world. Even Zuck threw in the towel on that deal. Encourage and empower these folks to get to a place – or places – where they can be around people who can make their lives easier and less lonely. It’s literally the best support you can offer.
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This article appears in April 17 • 2026.
