Luv Doc,
When is it OK to ask a man/guy on a date? Should he buy dinner?
– The Initiate
Generally, if a man/guy is conscious and sentient, it’s OK to ask him on a date. There are some notable exceptions however, and since you asked I should probably outline a few of them.
If a man/guy is engaged in the act of intercourse with his current wife/girlfriend, that is not a good time to ask him on a date. Nor is it a good idea to ask him on a date when he is dropping a deuce. No, not even through the door. Not even with a note slid under the door with the i’s all dotted with hearts.
This shouldn’t be news, but just in case: You should never ask a man/guy anything when he is underneath a car trying to tension an alternator belt. If you see a pair of legs sticking out from underneath a ‘92 Ford Escort and hear cussing and dropped wrenches, just back the fuck away. Whatever you have to say can wait … ideally until he has a 40 of Olde English in him from the convenience store down the street.
At his mother’s funeral while his brother is delivering a eulogy? No. While he is mowing the lawn/operating a jackhammer/in the middle of a wicked Neil Peart drum solo? No. Obvs. While he is having his appendix removed? Nein. OK, well, maybe, depending on the amount of phenobarbital coursing through his veins, but that’s an unfair advantage and might backfire on you.
I’m sure there are a few more man/guy scenarios that wouldn’t turn out well, but the hypothetical is a huge universe, so it’s best we keep our feet on the ground. You want answers, damnit. Here goes: This is America. You have the right to ask anyone anything regardless of their race, gender, nationality, or social status. You should in no way undermine that right with the belief that your gender is in any way an impediment to exercising it. Furthermore, any asshole who would criticize or react in any way negatively to the idea of a woman asking him out is someone you shouldn’t be dating in the first place.
Now, as to the topic of paying for dinner: Take gender out of that as well. If you are asking a friend to dinner – perhaps for the first time – would you pay? Well, probably – especially if you wanted her to try a new restaurant that you weren’t sure she might like. The same principle applies with men/guys as well. Your idea, you buy. Or you could go Dutch. I bet you would make an adorable couple in wooden shoes.
This article appears in June 5 • 2015.
