Dear Luv Doc,
I was born and raised in Austin and moved to France about a year ago. I live about an hour outside Paris by train, so when I do day trips I plan my whole day to make the most of my time. One Saturday I had an ambitious itinerary and passed a cafe that was empty except for one guy in a suit, with a blond streak in his dark hair, like a one-sided money piece or a skunk streak. While waiting to cross the street, I felt a tap on my shoulder – it was Skunk Streak. He asked if I was single and wanted to grab coffee. Was waiting for a date to walk by just his Saturday ritual? Dating apps might not cut it when you live in the city of love. We exchanged numbers, and I told him he was welcome to join me at any point during the day. We played text tag but kept missing each other, so my only option was to stay late and catch the last train. On top of that, he asked me to meet him in his neighborhood instead, since where I was was “too touristy.” So I took the 30-minute metro ride over, shared my location with my roommate, and said if I didn’t contact her by 9pm, assume I’d been kidnapped.
During the date, I learned I had found a true Parisian, born and raised. He kept telling me I wasn’t like other girls, that there was something different about me, and that this was a high compliment coming from him. At a bougie, Ikea-like store, he sat on a display couch, opened a Matisse art book, and asked me to read a passage out loud to prove I spoke English. When I asked him to read one, he did, in an accent I’d never heard before, not French but closer to Kermit the Frog. Was he lying to me the whole time and made up a whole character just for the date?
He abruptly got up and left. I followed, got distracted, and looked up to find he’d disappeared – just power-walking ahead without checking if I was keeping up. We didn’t have time to sit in a bar for a drink, so he suggested we walk along the Seine. I asked if he’d planned it that way, timing our walk to pass the Eiffel Tower right before it would sparkle. He said no, why would he do that? But we ended up on a bridge with a clear view of the Eiffel Tower as it began to sparkle. I was delighted and told him to look. He barely glanced back before telling me he sees it every night, nothing impressive. At the end of the night, I asked if he’d accompany me to my train station. He said no, too far out of his way. It was a nine-minute metro ride. He never texted to make sure I caught my train or got home safe. Instead, I got an “I’m thinking of you” text the following night. So what do you think, Luv Doc? Is he weird or just Parisian?
Culturally Shocked
I got in trouble with my editor the last time someone catfished me with a question that closely resembled the plot to a Woody Allen movie I’d never seen. My ignorance wasn’t a moral boycott, but had more to do with the fact that, in my opinion, Woody’s cinematic oeuvre could use a few more explosions, car chases, and needlessly crass language – especially if he’s courting the Okie expatriate crowd, and I’m pretty sure he’s not. Neither is Richard Linklater, whose 2004 movie Before Sunset is about a couple who wanders around Paris listening to each other’s chin music. Your tale is only mildly similar, and Linklater wouldn’t dare film in a big-box store. There is also the Netflix series Emily in Paris, of which I’ve seen a few episodes. The only thing her plot shares with yours is that you both live in Paris, only you’re more sophisticated because you’re from Austin – all of which is to say, there’s a possibility your question could be real.
Here’s my short take on your long query: True Parisian or no, Skunk Streak is not worth your time. He basically ditched you in a French Ikea, didn’t indulge your sense of wonderment at the sparkling Eiffel Tower, and then refused to accompany you to your train station because it was nine minutes out of the way? Whether he’s weird or just Parisian, this guy is a douche (and, to be clear, in my head I am pronouncing “guy” as “ghee” like a Frenchman even though I pronounced “douche” like an American). Enjoy the remainder of your stay, and bonne chance with the France romance.
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This article appears in October 23 • 2026.
