The Luv Doc: Balderdash and Poppycock

Dear Luv Doc,

I was in a relationship with a guy for nearly two years and we recently broke up because he claims he can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share his interests. His interests are gaming, anime, and EDM. He also likes cooking, but so do I so that can’t go on his list. I tried to get into gaming with him, but it’s something that I never did growing up and I am also bad at it according to him and his friends. Anime is interesting at first, but I tend to get bored with it quickly. I never complain to him or try to shame him about his hobbies. I want him to do what makes him happy. I have my own hobbies that keep me busy. I don’t understand how he can see us having different interests as a negative as long as we respect each other’s interests. I still love and respect him and enjoy his company. We’re still friends, but I miss the closeness of a relationship. Do you think people have to share the same interests to have a good relationship? How would you approach this situation?

– Gamer’s X

Two words come to mind: balderdash and poppycock. The world is literally teeming with couples who don’t share the same interests. Honestly – and I’m not trying to yuck anybody’s yum here – to me it feels a little creepy when a couple shares too many interests – though, to be fair, I hold that same opinion about people in general. I get real uncomfortable when too many people seem to be on the same page. It starts out innocently enough: face painting, team jerseys, cross wearing, MAGA hats, goose stepping … pretty soon you’re wearing a mask hunting down people who don’t look like you … mostly because they aren’t wearing a mask.

If I have learned anything from running this advice mill, it’s that people are different, even when they look the same. That’s mostly a good thing, though I have to admit there are some real psychopaths running around that make me wish for a tighter bell curve – Stephen Miller comes to mind. I understand that it’s impossible for everyone to live the exact same life and have the exact same experiences, moral and intellectual development, and whatnot – at least outside the science-fictional world of Vince Gilligan’s Pluribus. Besides, if a collective consciousness is simply a conglomeration of identical consciousnesses, isn’t that just a singular consciousness?  

If you didn’t fall asleep reading the preceding sentence, can we agree that groupthink is not only dangerous, but ultimately tedious as well? Indoctrination often poses as intellect, but a quick scratch at the surface reveals its lack of depth. We know what’s holding up that MAGA cap and it isn’t gray matter.

So you can see I have a healthy amount of personal bias regarding your ex-boyfriend’s purported beliefs. Truth be told, there are probably plenty of blissfully happy couples who wear matching outfits, finish each other’s sentences, and enthusiastically cover each other’s six in World of Warcraft. Maybe it’s just that they don’t live on my block – nor, for that matter, do any hardcore Trumpers, but they clearly exist because I keep seeing their misspelled ALL CAPS comments on racist Russian bot posts. So, while I can admit the possible existence of blissfully happy replicant couples, I don’t have any actual evidence thereof, which is why I say “poppycock,” which Google tells me is mid-19th-century Dutch slang for “soft poop.” Here’s how I would approach your situation: with a fast retreat. Here’s the reason why: If your ex-boyfriend really believes his poppycock you’re never going to tick his boxes, and if he doesn’t actually believe his balderdash (16th-century term used to describe a jumbled, unappetizing mixture of liquors, such as beer mixed with wine or milk … shudder) he is merely using it as an excuse to keep you at arm’s length, but maybe available for the occasional meatspace smash sesh. If you can stomach keeping him as a friend, fine, but I recommend you seek someone else for a relationship.

This article appears in February 27 • 2026.