Dear Luv Doc,
I cheated on my husband with a married, high school ex last July at a class reunion. We were reminiscing and had a few too many and ended up in his hotel room. I immediately regretted it and have felt guilty ever since. I have tried to break off relations with this guy (even tried the morning after), but he keeps calling, texting, and messaging me even though he lives in another city. There is absolutely no way I am going to sleep with this guy again. What should I do to get him to leave me alone?
– For the Old Times
You could tell his wife, but that would probably just lead to the kind of conflagration you’re trying to avoid. Fat Man and Little Boy arguably ended World War II, but I think everyone can agree they left an unacceptable amount of collateral damage. You start dropping big bombs and everybody gets hurt.
Sounds to me like you made a mistake and want to move past it. This mistake, however, is not only haunting your conscience, it’s actually stalking you in the real world – or at least its telecommunication equivalent. You should probably be grateful this dude doesn’t live in Austin or things could get really hairy. You would never be able to go to the Whole Foods produce section again – at least that’s where I imagine divorced dudes hang out in Austin. Either there, or in yoga classes.
If you see a fortysomething guy with a dad bod wearing a sleeveless Hootie & the Blowfish T-shirt with huge sweat crescents on the next yoga mat over, you can be reasonably sure that if you go out to happy hour with him after class he is going to have an emotional meltdown and show you wallet photos of his estranged children.
I’d say it’s a decent bet that if you don’t slam the door in this guy’s face – at least figuratively – he is going to end up doing something really stupid, like standing under your window with a sad face and a Jambox that’s playing Peter Gabriel. Hopefully your husband doesn’t keep a gun in the house.
Fortunately for you, we live in a post-Jambox era. Technological advances have not only brought us amazing inventions like wireless Bluetooth earbuds, they’ve also brought us the ability to block phone numbers and unfriend people on social media. I suggest you do just that, but first tell this fellow very emphatically that you made a huge mistake and you don’t want to let it ruin your life. Then block his number and unfriend him in every single way. My bet is that he will get the message.
This article appears in November 11 • 2016.
