In the 11 years I spent writing about music for this paper, the perks were plentiful. I was ubiquitously guestlisted, forever loaded up with free records, and paid to pepper questions upon people I admired. Back then, strangers would come up to me, introduce themselves, then eventually present me with their latest music. I liked that.
And it still happens, but now people approach me in public and give me weed – which I must admit is preferable over unmastered mixes of a new project they’re working on.
I will really miss that free weed. I’m giving up writing the Austin Chronic at the end of September.
The two years I’ve spent authoring this column have been a delight. I’ve enjoyed profiling interesting Austinites who work with cannabis, guinea-pigging new products, and trying to expand the aperture on all the various ways the cannabis plant helps people. While I was dutiful in reporting on the changing legal landscape of consumable hemp and the state government’s attempts to tread on the rights of Texans, I preferred when there was no news so I could muse on topics like intergenerational family smoke circles, joint-rolling techniques, and why cannabis dampens one’s ability to dream.
As a columnist, it’s been important to me to treat black-market entrepreneurs with equal dignity to legal operators – as a salute to the many victims of America’s awful drug war in the last half century. I should also note that I’ve kept the initial promise of this page: that it would not only be a column about marijuana, but also be written by someone who is high. I have kept that pact for over 50 editions of this the Austin Chronic and, to be vulnerably honest, it is sometimes scary to file journalism stories when you’re baked.
I hate to walk away from the funnest paid journalism gig on Earth, but I have my reasons.
I will now take questions.
Are you going to stop smoking weed?
Good question. No. Whoever or whatever created this planet, I believe they included “plant that makes you laugh” for a reason – and who am I to turn down a gift? I love how cannabis makes me reflective, honest with myself, creative, and conscious of how important it is to be kind. Although, I must admit, there are moments when I wonder if I should stop smoking, like last Thursday when I tried to use the key fob from my van to unlock my bike.
What were the factors in making this decision?
Family. I have two wild and sweet little boys who demand adventure and I don’t want to miss a thing. The people who raised me are also growing up fast. I’d like to have all the time in the world to spend with them.
I also have a couple long-form literature projects I want to indulge, including a bathroom reader titled Pointless Self-Improvement: We Have to Make the Best of this Embarrassing Shit Called Life.
Will you still be writing for the Chronicle?
Yes. I will be transitioning to writing longer things, like in-depth profiles and feature stories.
Should the Austin Chronic continue?
It must. Because I’ve only scratched the surface of the culture, community, and economy of cannabis in Austin. There are so many more voices to be heard, stories to be shared, and joints to be smoked.
Who will write the column, then?
That’s what I’ve been getting at. This whole imaginary press conference has been a prelude to the following job posting.
CANNABIS COLUMNIST FOR THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE
The Austin Chronicle is seeking applications for the position of Cannabis Columnist. Applicants should live in the Austin area and possess the following characteristics:
-Prior “familiarity” with weed.
-A dedication to beat reporting where they will immerse themselves in the city’s cannabis community.
-Ability to write both hard news and narrative columns.
This position is paid on a per-column basis. The Austin Chronic runs in print and online every other week. Please send a résumé, cover letter, and writing samples with the subject line “Cannabis Columnist” to columns@austinchronicle.com.
Puff Puff Pass
The New York Times recently compiled an extensive report on the increase of cannabis poisoning incidents in America. The investigation used data from poison centers and surveyed more than 200 doctors, in addition to reviewing court records. Findings showed a sharp increase in non-lethal cannabis poisonings over the last decade and a half. In 2009, there were less than 1,000 documented cases, while last year there were more than 22,000. Data shows that more than 75% of such incidents in 2024 involved kids or teens and most of them stemmed from unintentional ingestion. Anecdotally, the doctors and public health experts interviewed in the story pointed to gummies with high THC content as the main contributing factor. This is why, as a parent of young kids, I have a “zero gummies in the house” policy.
The House of Representatives Public Health Committee heard hours of testimony last Wednesday about Senate Bill 5 – a reanimated version of the THC ban that was previously vetoed by Gov. Abbott. While many of the citizens providing testimony were reruns from hearings on SB 3, the dynamic was different. The opposition had clearly prepared with data and experts to counter specious claims that were being repeated on topics like cannabis psychosis and TABC not being able to reasonably staff a hemp regulation operation. Regarding the latter claim, Happy Cactus co-owner Mickey Harris provided free accounting services. “If we can regulate over 66,000 alcohol licensed businesses in Texas but claim we cannot regulate 8,000 hemp businesses, the problem is not feasibility, it’s will,” he said. “Texans need solutions, not excuses that make their government look unwilling to do its job. TABC has around 650 employees to regulate over 66,000 licensed businesses. If we took those same ratios and applied it to hemp regulation, we would need just over 80 employees to do so and, at the average pay of TABC of $62,000 a year, it would cost around $5 million for those salaries. If you charged $600 per hemp license per year, that would cover it. If you charged $1,000, the program would profit $3 a year.”
September 1 marks the beginning of disposable THCA vapes becoming illegal statewide. As previously reported, the blinker ban was rolled into another bill, SB 2024, which was originally focused on keeping nicotine vapes out of kids’ hands. That means that retailers only have 11 more days to liquidate one of their top-selling product categories, and customers only have 11 more days to get them. Expect a frenzy… and maybe some two-for-one sales.
This article appears in August 22 • 2025.