Happy fall tidings to all y’all out in the distinctly non-autumnal atmosphere of Austin. As much as I wish I could throw on my Soccer Mommy hoodie and a slouchy beanie without risking heat stroke, the weather remains hot. Well, at least I can go to the correct bathroom at government buildings without risking said building getting fined, right? Ha ha: One must laugh to keep from performing inadvisable political acts.
Would that I had the words to say to make any of this craziness become clear, but the truth is that transgender people are just the most current scapegoat for the general fear everyone feels. Easier to pretend the threats to women are other marginalized women than imagining for one second that those in power might not have anyone’s best interests at heart but their own, I guess. The recently approved version of Senate Bill 8 seems written to induce overcompliance from schools, universities, and government agencies protecting their asses from preposterous fines. But I’ve got no plans to obey in advance. Until such a day comes that they’re dragging me out of the Capitol men’s room by my pulled-down pants, I’ll continue to piss as and where I please.
Anyway, what to do until then… I suppose we can enjoy our regularly scheduled queer merriment. Why, you could solve a sapphic mystery with Sapphic Singles over at Birdhouse Books (See Saturday) or learn the basics of rope bondage at OutFitness (see Sunday). You could even enjoy comedy – which has yet to be canceled by the snowflake right – at DEI Comedy’s Try Hard Mic (see Tuesday). I’ll be out of town this weekend seeing a cloud about a gate (i.e., the Bean), so enjoy all the fun for me, reader.
First Thursdays
Thursday 4, Top Drawer Thrift
Top Drawer’s been dealing with dresser-related issues lately (see their Instagram for more info) and they’re throwing a fundraiser leading up to this after-hours shopping night to make sure the big blue & pink furniture piece stays attached to their building. Donate if you can, and make sure to stop by this Thursday for special deals and spritzes. 5:30pm.
Sana Sana: Baffoonery
Thursday 4, Ani’s Day & Night
This month’s edition of the all-ages open mic talent show is hosted by Peg Bunny, so bring your silliest, goofiest, and most irreverent material to the stage. Arrive at 7pm to sign up to perform. 8pm.
Grrrl’s Night Out
Friday 5, Oilcan’s
Join hosts Riotgirl and Titty Androgynous in Oilcan’s GayRage to kick off the weekend celebrating “queer bodies and trans hotties.” Every Friday features fun, games, and go-go dancers galore. 10:30pm.
Who Killed the Love Interest? Sapphic Singles Murder Mystery
Saturday 6, Birdhouse Books
Unlock the lesbian Jessica Fletcher inside you with social group Sapphic Singles at this murdery mystery night. Attendees aged 36-50 will follow the footsteps of one detective Lin Cognito and solve puzzles, find clues, and connect over literary loves. Snag your tix for $22. 7pm.
Homocoming
Saturday 6, Cheer Up Charlies
Neon Rainbows welcomes y’all queers back to school with a celebration featuring cuntry & pop tunes spun by DJ Ed West, a homecoming mums contest hosted by Brigitte Bandit, cuntry-oke with Lavender Thug, and special guests Yes Ma’am Brass Band and Cheer Austin. 10pm.
Slide in the DMs
Saturday 6, Fallout Theater
Celebrate seven years of “shooting your shot” at this comedy show hosted by Angelina Martin. This special event features special guests like Aira Juliet and Stephanie Robertson in addition to the usual crew, plus a pre-show happy hour, photobooth, and drink specials. 9:30pm.
Kink for All: Rope Bondage 101
Sunday 7, OutWellness
Genderqueer duo Max and Madelinn run this two-hour, entry-level workshop on rope basics from consent and boundaries to a live demo. 2pm.
Varietease
Monday 8, Oilcan’s
Mandy Quinn and Noodles co-host this new variety drag show that’ll cycle through various showcase styles each Monday night. Kicking off the fun is an open drag showcase, with up-and-coming Austin performers invited on stage. What a way to start the week! 9:30pm.
Try Hard Mic
Tuesday 9, Double Trouble
Presented by DEI Comedy, you’ll deffo find your new fav comic at this open mic hosted by Holden and Everett. 7:30pm.
Greetings From Queer Mountain: Sports! Night
Wednesday 10, Cheer Up Charlies
Applaud the blood, sweat, and queer tears shed in these athletic anecdotes by local queer storytellers. Plus, local LGBTQ sports leagues tabling on-site and a jerseys and cutoff sweats dress code. 8pm.
Rockabilly Rodeo
Friday 5, Independence Brewing
Country Fried Dance and DJ Ed West rustle up a little honky-tonk action over at this brewhouse, teaching line dance in their pearl snaps and cutoffs. Cover’s $5. 7pm.
Pork’d
Saturday 6, the Iron Bear
Package Austin and the Bear partner for this monthly party featuring a different gear/fetish theme each time. And yeah, you already know there’ll be a Package pop-up as well as a Package-sponsored clothing check. 9pm.
Sapphists’ Society
Saturday 6, 1972 Pub
Rebooting after a brief hiatus, Sapphists’ Society reemerges at local woman-owned sports pub 1972 for a night of drinking, jawing, and being gay among other gentlewomen. 7pm.
Dance & Brunch
Sunday 7, the Austin Eagle
Queer Dance Austin takes over the Eagle for this movement workshop on salsa. Want to learn even more? Check back in the first Sundays of October and November for classes on bachata and cumbia, respectively. 1pm.
Lezzz B. Honest: La Llorona
Sunday 7, Ani’s Day & Night
Fundraise for victims of ICE violence at this queer Latine showcase featuring drag headliners Tatiana Cholula, Barry Mii Dandy, and Atlas Mars as well as speakers from the Party for Socialism and Liberation’s Austin chapter. Plus: a vendor market and spins by DJ Deadlao5. 1pm.
The Vixens of Volstead
Sunday 7, Hotel Vegas Patio
The queens reign over East Sixth this weekend as May Magdalene, Mars, and Veronica Valentine bring this iconic drag brunch back. Featuring special guest Arinna Dior Davenport and spins by DJ Killgxrl. 1pm.
Sir Rat Kink Bingo
Sunday 7, the Austin Eagle
What’s the phrase again? “Play sexy games, win sexy prizes”? Well, that’s how it goes at this bingo night hosted by Randy Surrat, Simone Riviera, and Hexa Dulce, where winners get prizes from hot brands like Slut Monkey, Oxballs, and the titular Sir Rat Leather. 4pm.
Britney Brunch B*tch
Sunday 7, Stargazer
Eileen Dover hosts this drag brunch tribute to the ever-relevant Britney Spears featuring performances by Leche Diamante and Glitter Lxve Larue. TJ the DJ spins. 2pm.
Craft With TGA
Sunday 7, the Gay House
Join Thee Gay Agenda for crafting and chatting as they create decor & props for the upcoming Cuntry Faire. This Sunday’s craft location is still TBA, but rest assured it will be gay and a house. RSVP via the link in their bio to learn more. 1pm.
Hello Darlings
Monday 8, the Iron Bear
Hilda Dixon hosts another musical menagerie, this time themed to those lovable Liverpudlians who dared us to ask just who the walrus really was. (It’s the Beatles. I’m talking about the Beatles.) Expect show tunes to be mixed in as well as Glee covers, and whatever else Ms. Dixon decides. 9:30pm.
Lone Star Lambdas Square Dance Classes
Monday 8 or Wednesday 10, North Central Austin
This long-running local square dance group invites all beginners to join this class on the fine art of fancy footwork. These classes will take place over 12 weeks; however, the date isn’t quite set yet so check their FB for updates (fb.com/groups/LSLambdas) to see when and where to show up.
Divina
Wednesday 10, Oilcan’s
Tatiana Cholula hosts this weekly celebration of Latinx drag with special guests and nostalgic needle drops of your favorite Latin tunes. 10pm.
Mochi Mochi
Thursday 11, the Highball
Never forget… that this cosplay themed drag show is hosted by the beautiful nerdy babes Louisianna Purchase, Tatiana Cholula, and Leia Sakura Dior with plenty of fun raffles and giveaways. 10pm.
This article appears in The 35th Annual Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival.
