There’s manners and there’s etiquette. You can have one without the other, but having a certain one without a natural sense of the other can lead to nasty habits like waving the correct fork in the air or keeping one’s pinky raised while belching loudly. Nice. If you’re like us, the formal dinner invitation is a dual-edged dagger: While it’s lovely to have someone else worry about important things such as the correct number of place settings, the proper degree for effective wine chilling, or the relative probability of one of the guest’s kids vomiting all over a prized heirloom tablecloth, it’s trippy trying to figure out what to wear or remember how to pass the Poupon. See, these things upset us. We know how to eat a Pop Tart. No problem. Secluded in the privacy of our own TV trays, we can handle any etiquette challenge our Monday night Ally McBeal slot throws our way (444-4444, and be sure to say “please” and “thank you”…). We are positively scholars and gentlemen. But stick us in front of a slew of ties and cummerbunds and we get entertainingly flustered, if not mistaken for the service (most of whom have far more evolved etiquette and grooming habits than we, anyway …). So we get a little antsy when we are invited to things like Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?, this weekend’s big Project Transition multi-venue fundraising dinner event. We are absolutely positive that the title refers to us as fair warning to the other guests. “Guess who?! BbbbrrrrrAaaaappp!” We’ve been assured by coordinators and veterans of the annual to-do that it’s not like that. The evening focuses on entertaining dinner themes (20 in 20 separate houses!), tastebud-tantalizing cuisine, and warm camaraderie, all for a good cause.
Here’s the down-to-the-wire drill for you Janey-come-latelys who might be interested in squeezing into one of the few available slots: Call up Project Transitions, pay your $75 per person, and select from the five remaining theme dinners, each of the dinners is held in the private home of the host and all party-goers are to converge at the home of Susan and Jerry Jeff Walker for the grand champagne and dessert finale. The event is Sat, Feb 5, 8:30-midnight, the dress is from casual to black tie, depending on the theme, and the cause is all good. Since the entire event is generously underwritten, all proceeds go to PT! 454-8646. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some place, some sort of getaway for the kids, where they could go and enjoy, oh, say, a week or two in the company of kids just like themselves, and while they’re there become enriched by the new and exciting experiences they have, and return freshly energized to take on the world? Oh, right. We have those things. They’re called camps. Okay, but wouldn’t it be great if there were a place where kids could go and enjoy themselves while mom, dad, and/or guardian enjoy some well-deserved down time? Oh, right. Camps! This Sat, Feb 5, 9:30am-2:30pm, come to the lovely campus of St. Pauls’ Lutheran at 3501 Red River for Austin Family Magazine‘s Camp Fair 2000. Entertainment, door prizes, and giveaways will highlight the “one-stop” convenience of having representatives from the area’s best kids’ day, overnight, sports, arts, and adventure camps. Big Brothers/Big Sisters will be on hand recruiting volunteers and collecting things like school supplies and books for their kids. 442-7979. Speaking of our pals over at Big Brothers/Big Sisters … Did you know that some kids wait as long as three years to get matched with an appropriate mentor-type? Right now the local kids in queue number in the hundreds … almost 400. Throughout this month, the org will offer Informational Meetings for anyone interested in participating in their program. This week, there’s a meeting Mon, Feb 7, 6pm, at the main office, 1400 Tillery, and next week one on Wed, Feb 16, noon, at the Williamson County office. 472-5437 or 930-1946 (Wmson). This week, the women behind the International Women’s Day Community Media Festival will offer some pre-event training on the mike and behind the scenes. Through Women’s Eyes: An Intro to ACAC Video Production happens this Sat, Feb 5, 8-11am at the ACAC Studios, 1143 Northwestern and Sexual Harassment in the Media Workplace happens Wed, Feb 9, 7-8:30pm at the Austin Public Library, 2410-C E. Riverside. You go, Connie Chung! 452-5109. 
This article appears in February 4 • 2000.