With the dumbfounding appearance of Sarah Palin on the GOP ticket, we’re once again being asked to think about what qualities we want in our female politicians. As every ambitious woman knows, that’s no easy calculation. She should be tough but not hard. Decisive but not bitchy. Smart but not brainy. Becoming but not a babe.
The male politician has it so much easier. He can be a child of extraordinary privilege, the product of elite prep schools, a college cheerleader. But get him to play dress-up in a fighter-pilot costume, and he’ll have The Washington Post‘s David Broder (the dunderheaded dean of the Washington press corps) gushing about his “great sense of authority and command.”
What’s a gal to do? How is she to evince both guts and femininity?
To help answer these questions, I consulted some women who know a thing or two about being tough – the Texas Rollergirls.
“What do I want in a female politician?” said Sarah Haldeman, a historical archivist when she isn’t skating under the nom de rink Janie Gottagunn for the Hotrod Honeys. “Someone who bounces back, who gets up when she falls. Someone who can take a hit and can deliver a hit. Who, no matter what, just keeps going. That’s what you have to do in Roller Derby, and it’s what a woman needs to do in politics. She has to be aggressive, yet she shouldn’t be afraid to display her femininity.”
She also, said Hustler Ann Dills (aka Ann T. Pathic), will have to “put up with a lot of shit.” She may look nice and demure and nonthreatening, yet when push comes to shove, you should know that “she’ll come up and fucking nail you. And I don’t mean some little thing that looks good to the crowd. I mean a good strong hit. I mean taking someone out.”
And Sarah “Barracuda” Palin – how would she do as a Rollergirl on the flat track?
“We don’t know,” said Rebecca Gutierrez (aka RadioActive) after a recent bout at the Playland Skate Center. “She hasn’t taken a hit, not really.”
“She’s scrappy, I guess,” Haldeman said. “She might make a good jammer,” i.e., the woman with the star on her helmet whose job is to come from the back of the pack and pass opposing skaters. “But I mean, come on! Hillary would kick Palin’s ass!”
“Oh, definitely, Hillary,” said Carey Finn (aka Cookie Rumble) from the visiting Detroit Derby Girls. “She is one hell of a tough bitch. She’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done.”
Sure, Clinton lost in the primaries, but that’s Roller Derby for you. That’s politics. Sometimes you’re going to lose. You’re going to get knocked flat on your ass. What matters is: Do you pick yourself up? Do you keep going?
Does Sarah Palin have that tenacity? Until she takes a hit from the likes of the Texas Rollergirls, we just don’t know. But it’s high time we found out.
This article appears in September 12 • 2008.