Dear Kate Cox,
Add my name to the list of people who hear your story and feel desperate to protect you as you grieve the loss of your child.
Add my name to the list of people who know the sadness you feel. I was getting out of the shower 20 years ago when I learned our unborn son had trisomy 18, the same always-terminal condition as your child. I dropped the phone and fell down on the rug, naked and cold and sobbing. We had already lost our daughter, Matilda, born prematurely and surviving only 15 days. Our doctor, compassionate and wise, knew we would not survive the death of another child. So he gave us our options – all of them horrific. And when we chose to end the pregnancy, he quietly nodded and put his hand gently on my shoulder.
Add my name to the list of people who recognize that abortion is not the right choice for everyone, but for some of us, it is the only choice.
Add my name to the list of people who read the Texas Supreme Court opinion denying your ability to end your pregnancy, focusing on these words, “Some difficulties in pregnancy, however, even serious ones, do not pose the heightened risks to the mother the exception encompasses.” They, with no medical training, inserted themselves into the darkest weeks of your life and ranked your suffering as a “difficulty” without heightened risk.
Add my name to the list of people who had an abortion, who understand that ending a pregnancy is always, always difficult and personal and intimate. Not a place for strangers. Not a place for politicians.
Add my name to the list of parents who look at our healthy children and feel gratitude because we know that other people’s stories are different.
Add my name to the list of people who recognize that abortion is not the right choice for everyone, but for some of us, it is the only choice.
Add my name to the list of people who are inspired by your bravery and grateful that you have allowed the world to see your suffering.
DeDe Church is an Austin attorney and mother of two who is embarrassed by the Texas government.
This article appears in December 22 • 2023.