If your weekend plans don’t involve getting drunk, then you may want to flip back up to the Music, Screens, or Arts sections. Sorry, this is the end of the road where recommendations are concerned. If you’ve made it back here without penning something exciting into your social calendar, we can pretty much assume that you’re either an unrepentant wallflower, a voyeur, a hopeless romantic, or a ruthlessly jaded scenester looking for the cultural equivalent of a bound, greased hamster – something exciting and freaky and very possibly not your cup of tea. Got it. But, before this blessing is bestowed, let’s get one thing straight: Drinking isn’t for everybody. Some people manage to botch it every time. They get surly, or maudlin, or boring, or unconscious. Of course the last is huge fun for everyone else who is conscious and a good reason people should carry a Sharpie when they go out drinking. However, if you’re one of those sots who wakes up with shaved eyebrows, wet pants, and a huge cartoon phallus drawn on your cheek, just keep in mind that even though it seems like your drinking buddies are making cruel sport, deep down they’re really just trying to tell you to seek therapy. If you’re like most people, however, an evening of corporate/government sanctioned bacchanalian excess is a wonderful way to forget you’re just a small cog in the huge meat grinder of the universe. It’s a great way to forget, period. A dead brain cell is never tortured by the past. But perhaps the biggest reason drinking is so popular (besides relentless marketing) is that it almost always makes you act more stupid than you really are, and make no mistake, stupidity is a very popular quality. Take the president, please. When two or more people get or act stupid together, it’s called bonding. Bonding is a very powerful thing. It can lead to lifelong friendships based entirely on sketchy reminiscences of doing very stupid things. Think about it. Dial it in. This weekend offers an excellent opportunity to do a very stupid thing and thereby bond with others in the process. That thing is Two Note Solo’s Drunk Film Festival. Now, before you get too hung up on the use of the word “film” instead of “movie,” keep in mind that Two Note Solo is a literary zine of sorts, and very likely they would have to drop the word “literary” from their description if they used the word “movie,” but here’s the deal: You can either make a film, or watch a film – and be totally drunk doing both. Those of an artistic bent will surely want to dust off the old camcorder and pony up the $60 entry fee to make their own drunken films. The $60 basically helps defray the cost of the free booze and the organizers’ annoyance at having to deal with a bunch of drunks. At 1pm on Saturday, filmmakers will convene at Two Note Solo world headquarters for prefilming medication, then head out with designated drivers to make the next … Gummo or maybe Dude, Where’s My Car? Catch? You need to trim it to around five to 10 minutes. Drunks are funny, but never for more than a few minutes at a time. Completed films are due the following day at 1pm and will be screened that night at midnight at the Dobie in front of an appreciative and ideally highly inebriated audience. Tickets for the screening are $5, but the sketchy memories will last a lifetime.
This article appears in July 9 • 2004.
