Traditionally in Austin you have up to a year to take down your Christmas lights. If you happen to be one of those appalled newcomers who are starting to get annoyed at the guy down the street with the galaxy of multicolored lights and the partially deflated, leaf-covered, plastic Frosty the Snowman slumped in his yard, back off. It’s still January. Chances are in a few weeks Frosty will be dragged off by a pack of stray dogs and left shredded on your fastidiously manicured lawn. Squirrels and other assorted sharp-toothed varmints will have a go at the Christmas lights long before the Fourth of July rolls around, and by Labor Day what once seemed like a gaudier version of the Vegas Strip will be reduced to a few fading, random points of light – a dim existential monument to the vanity of men. Still, your sense of decorum and propriety may lead you to some rash act, might send you rushing off to Wal-Mart for a pump-action BB gun (bulb abatement) or worse, a 40-horsepower wood chipper (neighbor abatement). Wait a minute, this ain’t Fargo. In fact, about the only thing wintry that happens around here is…well…Christmas lights – or at least a profundity thereof. Sure, one has to allow for backyard parties and low-budget Mexican restaurants, but by and large the only way to truly know if it’s winter in Austin is if your whole neighborhood is flashin’ mad holiday bling. Don’t worry; you can peel the foil off your windows in April. Tonight it’s a winter wonderland. Then again, if you want to look at something this evening that doesn’t require a pair of welding goggles, check out STORIE Productions’ new black comedy, Square One, which starts a three-week run this Friday over at the Austin Playhouse at Penn Field. Directed by Lorie Marsh and written by Steve Tesich, Square One satirizes romance, society and government in a media-saturated society and features two of Austin’s finest actors: Scott Bate (Austin Critic’s Table Best Actor Nominee) and Caroline Valentine (voted Austin’s favorite lead actress in the Chronicle’s 2002 Best of Austin issue). With stars this big, you might want to bring some welding goggles anyway.
This article appears in January 14 • 2005.
