Dear Luv Doc,
I just spent Labor Day weekend with my in-laws who are hardcore Trump supporters and not very easy to be around. I think I handle it well, but mainly because I can laugh off the really crazy stuff they say. My wife, on the other hand, gets really upset with them and then ends up taking it out on me. She gets mad because I don’t get mad. She thinks the only way they will change their minds is for us to keep the pressure on them and call them out whenever they say something really stupid or racist. I think we should back off, keep a safe distance, and let them figure it out for themselves. What do you think? Should I get mad?
– Chuckles
My humble and admittedly moderately researched opinion is this: Trump supporters feed off the anger and hysteria fed to them by conservative media outlets and our Cheeto-in-Chief, so they’re very well-versed in outrage and indignation. Challenging them on that playing field is a tactical miscalculation. They’re more than ready to match your deranged incredulity with a stunningly illogical and uninformed deranged incredulity of their own. Furthermore, on just a basic logical level, when everybody is right, there can never be a true winner. Somebody needs to be wrong, but more importantly, somebody needs to have the humility to admit it.
Humility doesn’t come easy. It’s an evolved and enlightened state that only comes with deep introspection. Therefore, I am going to prescribe a heavy dose of strong marijuana for you, your wife, and perhaps most importantly for your in-laws. I know, I know … they probably aren’t big stoners, but I bet they really dig brownies – maybe with some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream, because store-bought, homemade vanilla ice cream in a cardboard tub is about as American as it gets – sort of like pitching washers, wearing overalls, and complaining about illegal foreigners taking all the good jobs.
Marijuana, however, despite being enjoyed by pasty-skinned folks since their freaky, buckled European shoes hit American soil, just sounds foreign. It has too many syllables and soft consonants. It sounds like something your tango instructor would whisper in your ear when you “accidentally” brush up against his boner. In other words, “Hey Brad! Would you like a hit of this amazing marijuana spliff?” isn’t going to close the deal. However, no true American can turn down a big, sugar-soaked dessert. Just look at the guy we elected. Clearly his id is running buck wild.
Now, it’s entirely possible that your wife might object to surreptitiously feeding her parents an illicit substance, but my bet is that she will think it’s a champion idea if she’s really, really stoned, so take care of that first. Have her smoke so much weed she will be giggling so hard she can barely make the brownies. Once everybody is in the right state of mind, detente can be achieved. If not, I predict a really righteous supper at least.
The important point is that you have to be proactive. Your in-laws aren’t going to just wake up one morning and think, “Eureka! The president is a fat idiot!” They might admit it, however, if they’re buzzing hard on 20mg of Blue Bell-soaked THC, and that’s a start, isn’t it?
This article appears in September 7 • 2018.
