Oh, they come in all shapes, sizes, and hues, now, don’t they? From sinewy alabaster rails to caramel-colored Mack trucks, these weapons of mass affection, roll, for one night, to the sport that not only has a “top” and a “bottom,” but “head,” “penetration,” and “high leg over’s,” not to mention the “push-pull,” “circle to the trail leg,”and “reverse crossface’s. Be that as it may – and take those as you will – armwrestlemania has hit Austin leztown, and this Saturday at Cheer Up Charlie’s, it’s on.
ON OUR GAYDAR
QUEERDALINI YOGA Kundalini in a safe environment. Thursdays, 7-8:15pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. Donations encouraged. queerdalini@gmail.com.
STEAK NIGHT As American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Thursdays, 6-8pm. Town N Country, 1502 W. Ben White, 445-9122. $8 for full meal.
AX+APPLE TRUNK SHOW Say adieu to this local jewelry line as it relocates to the west coast. Thu., Aug. 16, 7:30pm. Maison d’Etoile, 2109 E. Cesar Chavez, 344-9173.
BEDPOST CONFESSIONS This month: Adam Sultan, Kate M (not to be confused with X, who is also an M), Rosie Q, the Roy G. Bivs, and sex educator Dr. Cricket, plus your mosty hostess Mia Martina. Thu. Aug. 16, 8-10:15pm. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35, 485-3001. $5 (last show at this rate!). www.bedpostconfessions.com.
USHINDI MEN It’s the Swahili word for overcoming a challenging situation. And two nights a week in August, black gay men are invited to this open discussion exploring solutions. Wednesdays and Fridays in August, 6-8pm. ALLGO, 701 Tillery, 698-2911. eubanksfacilitation@gmail.com.
OUTLANDER ON KOOP Austin community radio gays it up with some fab live music and the bands that make it. Fridays, noon-1pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.koop.org.
THE WHOLE PACKAGE Weekly discussion forum for gay and bisexual men, ages 18-30. Fridays, 7pm. The Q, 3408 West, 420-8557. Free. www.theqaustin.org.
BADJOHNPAUL PRESENTS CATTIVO Featuring Your Style Avatar’s fall/winter collection preview in a night of decadence. Fri., Aug. 17, 8pm-2am. Haven, 409 Colorado, 751-6885.
HOMOSCOPE PRESENTS SMARTASS Bug is back toting a new set of Homoscopic hijinx. Homoscope: Where a film labeled as “exploiting tropes for their comical value,” actually stands a chance of being funny. Either way, your brain will feel moist and your c*** that much smarter. Queer cinematic bliss, coming to a skewed theater near you. Fri., Aug. 17, doors, 8pm. The Off Center, 2211-A Hidalgo, 476-7833. $10-15, sliding scale. 18 and up only.
DADDY HUNT WEEKEND Forget hunting for eggs. It’s a different kind of season altogether. Stalk a daddy and let him crack that. Plus, there’s an app for that …. Fri.-Sat., Aug. 17-18, 9pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. $3. www.facebook.com/ChainDriveATX, www.daddyhunt.com.
GINGER A. THOMPSON Solo show. Fri., Aug. 17, 9pm. Rusty’s, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. Free. www.facebook.com/Gingersmusicpage.
BIG LOVE ASA and AGLIFF merge wonder powers to celebrate 25 years with an Eighties party. See Screens, p.37, for deets. Sat., Aug. 18, 6pm-12mid. Dobie Theater, 2021 Guadalupe. 406-6100. $35, advance; $45 at the door. www.asaustin.org/BigLove.
TROIS TWO Beargasm presents their second Trois birthday bash with DJ C-Rail. Time to get spanked. Sat., Aug. 18, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.
GIRLS WITH GUNZ It’s another GirlFriend Presents: This time (wo)mano a (wo)mano and you can register to compete! Hosted by Kat Ramzinski with Lashonda Lester and Arcie Cola, plus DJ Isabel J. Sat., Aug. 18, 10pm. Cheer Up Charlie’s, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133. Free. www.girlfriendatx.com.
CAP CITY QS: HOT AUGUST WHITES Network or werk it. This month, pianist Aaron Flores tinkles on the ivories (the white ones and the black ones). Third Mondays. 7-9pm. Renaissance Hotel, 9721 Arboretum Blvd., 343-2626. Free. www.capitalcityqsocials.com.
STEEL VAGINAS Discover this semiweekly romp through the nuanced ebbs and flows of the “F” Word. Second and fourth Wednesdays, 7:30pm. The Q, 3408 West, 281/733-0576. ashton@theqaustin.org.
LIZZY CAROLOKE Tip that KJ. Wednesdays, 9pm-12mid. Bernadette’s, 2039 Airport. Free.
KARAOKE WITH KRAMER Croon with the Krame, or whatever nickname you want to call him. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.
DRAG SURVIVOR “I’m a suh-vi-vo, I’m not gon’ give up …“ Who shall be the last queen standing? Ask host Kelly Kline. Wednesdays, 11:30pm. Oilcan Harry’s, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free.
HO-RIZON
AMY COOK INSTORE There’s a lot “in store” at this special appearance of Austin’s Roadhouse Records heartthrob. Details as we get closer. Fri., Aug. 31, 5pm. Waterloo Records, 600-A N. Lamar. www.amycook.com.
AUSTIN PRIDE 2012 IS COMING! … and it smells like Peaches. Early bird tickets on sale now! Watch this space! Sat., Sept. 22. Fiesta Gardens, 2100 Jesse E. Segovia, 480-8318. www.facebook.com/Austin.PRIDE.Official, www.austinpride.org.
THE RETURN OF FOODIES Before Austin had the plethora of events for ladies and Qs that it now enjoys, there was Foodies, a guerilla lez bar, not always at bars – most often at restaurants and coffeehouses. Well it’s baaaack! Thu., Aug. 30, 6-8pm. Cenote, 1010 E. Cesar Chavez, 524-1311. beatsagogo@gmail.com.
XENA MOVIE PETITION In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for a movie, and this online petition might just make it happen. Don’t you want to be able to tell your grandkids that you helped reunite Xena & Gabrielle? Sign the petition now, before that nasty Samurai gets wind of all this. www.xenamovienow.com.
This article appears in August 17 • 2012.