RIFFING WITH PABLEAUX Truth: Gay Place really likes Paul Soileau. And yes, Frenchy, it is pronounced, “Swallow.” And yes, I torture him with the tedious “or spit” joke every time I say his name out loud. Really, I cannot even believe he tolerates it. He was so much fun to work with on this week’s (mad shill alert!) cover story. By me. In fact, I’d say that Paul’s almost as demure as his flagship diva Rebecca Havemeyer. So needless to say, it was a blast getting to actually have a discussion with Ms. Havemeyer, herself, as well as with fellow Soileau-er Christeene. Yeah, yeah, talking to Paul was nice, too, but whatever. I had to cut a lot of Ms. Rebecca, so I’d like to share some of her excised witticisms and philosophy (free of context, for the most part) with you all here. Try to keep up: “I have been around for a while. Definitely, from what I can remember, it’s been a wild ride, and I always tend to find the homosexuals to be the most adventurous and the most productive in our entertainment lifestyles.” “Oh well, a huh ha ha ha ha! He’s a little lamb! You see there’s … well, I’m a big wild talkin’ girl, and I like to call him my manager-man. You know, we spend a lot of time together, but we’re like two kernels: Ya put us in a pot, ya turn up the heat, and those kernels gonna start poppin’ honey, and sometimes the popcorn gets a little too full, a little too buttery, and white and salty. It all gets thrown on there, and that’s when you get a tummy ache, and ya gotta put the popcorn away.” AC: I thought you meant like Kentucky Colonel. “Oh honey, ain’t no Kentucky involved in this, especially that chicken. That demon man with his chicken factory. I know everything that’s going on with him. He’s processing demon birds with no legs, chests the size of Dolly Parton, and no head, either. I read the paper!” AC: Yeah, but that original recipe! “It is good isn’t it? I love a good old KFC chicken, I’m sayin’. Mmmm, greasy greasy!” (See “Bravo/Brava“; see Friday.)
Send gay bits to gayplace@austinchronicle.com.
Visit austinchronicle.com/gayplaceblog.
This article appears in January 29 • 2010.