DRUNK SQUIFFY BLITZED AND BLOTTO Oh, dear darling queer quaffers: The holidays hold much merriment in her bosom (stop the vom-vom, boys, you have bosoms too). The merriment flows in Champagne rivers, tequila streams, white wine oceans, and cocktail dreams. Please dear Gay Place readers, do not drown. And if you find yourself wet wet wet and too drenched to drive, please do not. Better yet, let’s make a plan, right now. A pledge, even. Let’s go ahead and plan that we are probably going to be boozed up, spliffed up, tootin’, and/or carousing. Let’s just go ahead and consider that our default. So what are our variables? Well, how you get there never seems to be an issue. What to drink is pretty much in the bag. Who you hit on is up to you. But! How you get home. Home. Safe and sound. That’s worthy of a plan. So put these numbers in your phone or tattoo them to your forearm, now: Sober Ride, 657-2999 (that’s the free-within-reason one); Yellow Cab, 452-9999 (not free but cheaper than a trip to the great beyond); Capital Metro’s Go Line, 474-1200 (if you are an early tippler); Tipsy Taxi, 848-4553 (or as we like to call them: Tispy Taski, the folks who, for a wee fee, will drive you home in your car). Happy New Year’s, queers!
This article appears in December 25 • 2009.