I AM WAL-MART I got my hair cut the other day. I want to tell you where, but I can hardly utter the words. Okay, here goes: I had my hair done at Wal-Mart. Le Salon du Wal-Mart. My stylist, Donna, swore she’d cut my hair before. I assured her that was not possible. I’d certainly have remembered an occasion such as getting my hair cut at Wal-Mart. We did, however, determine that she had indeed sold hair products to me before. So I made an appointment, and she told me it would be about 20 minutes, so I shopped around and returned to her after 20 minutes. She wasn’t quite ready, so I inspected the salon’s hair-care lines while secretly watching Donna finish with her previous customer. I figured that I could learn something about Donna’s technique by seeing how she worked with another customer’s hair. But I was terribly wrong. I learned nothing by watching Donna work, though that may be because she was performing what is called a comb-out on an elderly woman who obviously did not mind coloring her hair at home (obviously). A comb-out is something you don’t see much anymore; it’s when ladies of a certain age arrive at the salon with their hair in rollers, and the stylist (I prefer the term “beautician”) combs the hair out and styles it for Madame. It seems absolutely wrong for me to be talking about getting my hair done at Wal-Mart when, in January, I’m going to the new salon at the flagship Neiman Marcus store in Dallas. The star of the salon will be my old friend Ceron from Houston. I guess having all of Houston talking about you really isn’t enough when you can have not only all of Houston talking about you, but all of Dallas, too. The fact that I know someone who can charge $900 for a haircut underscores the irony of me getting my hair done at Wal-Mart. It’s true, though. I have indeed been to virtually every high-end salon in this city and had some world-class work done on my locks. But I’ve determined recently, after all these years, that being a “natural” lavender-blond is waaay too high maintenance for the much more low-key lifestyle that I now lead. I told Donna that I was indeed nervous about getting my hair cut at Wal-Mart, but going to any salon can be a gamble, so we worked together to figure out what was best, since I wanted all the blond hair gone from my head. Well, maybe not all of it, since I didn’t really want that military boot camp look. The upshot? Donna was attentive, careful, and absolutely correct in her assessment of my hair, and cut it into a style I’m now very fond of. Would I say it is the best work done on my hair? No. But it was as good as some of the best. Would I go back? Yes. I’m not really a snob at all. Besides, go to www.peopleofwalmart.com and you’ll see that looking good is a very relative thing!
SNUGGIES Yes, Snuggies. I bought them for my whole family. I can’t believe it. It’s part of my total Wal-Mart-ization. It’s not the allure of the Snuggie that has me so enthralled, it is the speed in which they became an absolute necessity of American life. I mean, please. A blanket with sleeves. Whatever. If it has sleeves, it’s no longer a blanket. Period. Besides, can’t you just put on your bathrobe backward and get the same effect? I’m waiting for my first sighting of a Snuggie worn in public. Well, why not if we can go around with our underwear hanging out of our trousers and wear pajamas to class? It’s the fall of the American empire, I tell you.
VOTE IN ‘VOGUE’ Who were the most fashionable female stars and socialites of the decade? Looking back over 10 years of red carpet, runway, and regular moments, Vogue asks you to vote in its Best Dressed Women of the Decade 2000-2009 poll, www.vogue.com/polls/bestdressed/best_dressed_of_the_decade. The winners will be posted on Vogue.com Jan. 25, 2010.
‘MAD’ AS HELL The New York Times had a fascinating story on the men’s fashion trends that are being ignited by AMC‘s Mad Men series. I’m totally hooked on the series, and I solemnly believe that the time is right for the return to the coolness of Kennedy-era Manhattan. Men had style, and the writer made an excellent point regarding the return of the slim-cut, skinny-tie look with plenty of accessories when he noted that to most men over 45, wearing jeans to work is a sign of success. It’s not a sign of success. It’s an abhorrent trend that has gone on far too long. Thank God. There may indeed be an end to the droopy drawers and poorly fitted jeans. One of my favorite purveyors of stylish skinny ties (at only $15) is the Tie Bar (www.thetiebar.com). They also have tie bars ($15), cuff links ($20 and up), and even dress shirts ($30).
This article appears in December 25 • 2009.