WORDS OF WISDOM “To play Daisy Duke, I mean, that’s like an iconish … is that a word … iconic figure.” – Jessica Simpson discussing her role in The Dukes of Hazzard movie on Live With Regis and Kelly, in which she also said that she had to “step into those shorts and the red bikinis, and I had to do Catherine Bach proud.” Daisy Duke. Icon. In the same sentence. There you have it.
PAGEANT LIFE Recently, I found myself casually watching the Miss Texas USA pageant on television while I was working. All that marching around in heels and bathing suits, and donning big hair and frozen smiles while discussing world hunger or pediatric AIDS makes pageants impossible to resist. Then, at the end, they give you a scepter and a crown. Who doesn’t love pageants? Well, possibly a lot of people don’t like pageants. Pageants, as you may or may not have been aware, are an important but endangered piece of Americana. Not that we’re going to see the end of the Miss Bugtussle or Miss Vegetable Queen contests any time soon, but it’s the big, splashy televised atrocities that seem to be losing their appeal. Of course, in today’s diverse society, the prospect of choosing one girl to represent the many facets of our culture – a shining beacon of all that is feminine and traditional, while still making a modern and worthwhile contribution to society (until marriage, anyway) – is an increasingly difficult prospect to imagine. But winning Miss Texas USA means that some lucky gal could go on to be Miss USA and possibly Miss Universe (but, you know, it’s this Miss Universe malarkey that really gets to me. If all the contestants are from the planet Earth, how can it be Miss Universe?). Personally, I think that when most pageants stopped requiring a display of some sort of skill or talent they lost a large part of their entertainment factor. Honestly, watching a girl in a bikini twirling a flaming baton while reciting an abbreviated version of “Paul Revere’s Ride” is vastly more gratifying than hearing about anyone’s scholastic accomplishments. So it was during the long stretch between the bathing suit competition and the evening gown competition that my mind began to wander. And suddenly, without warning, the entire event erupted into some sort of Republican National Convention, replete with flag-waving, patriotically colored confetti, and a marching corps of cadets from Texas A&M. One minute we were watching the personal interviews, and Miss South Central Something-Or-Other was yammering on about what a great job George W. was doing and how we should stick by his side. The audience hooted its approval and within minutes, the whole place seemed to explode into red, white, and blue fragments, and the girls were doing their quasi-military choreography to songs like “Over There” and “The Caissons Go Rolling Along.” See the photographic evidence at www.misstexasusa.com/miss-production/
pics/large/images/06-Finale.gif. What had I been missing all these years? It used to be that beauty pageants had no political slant. But now they do, and you know what color that slant is. It’s no wonder pageants are losing their appeal.
A KINDRED SPIRIT In discussing the passing of haute couture legend Nan Kempner, iconic designer James Galanos (we have him to blame for all those one-shouldered monstrosities that Nancy Reagan wore in the White House) noted that Kempner and her ilk actually paid for their couture ensembles and even – gasp – wore them more than once. Drawing a parallel between Kempner and the flavor-of-the-month girls of today who simply borrow their gowns, Mr. Galanos said, “There is a lack of glamour today. These designers give away clothes to the young stars, and they don’t look like they belong in the clothes, and the clothes don’t look like they belong to them. We just look and smile, and think it was better in the old days.”
STYLE CALENDAR Famed New York hairdresser Christo (and his team of curly-hair experts) return to Austin Sunday-Tuesday, Aug. 14–16, at Aziz Salon & Day Spa (710 W. Seventh). Christo, who styles Debra Messing, among others, offers a variety of services and treatments in the $100-300 range. Call the Christo Fifth Avenue salon 212/997-8800 to book your appointment.
TONIGHT! TONIGHT! Make-up artist Rochelle Rae introduces her new line of mineral-based cosmetics at a street party held at the Rae Cosmetics Studio, 830 W. Third #1136. Rae products are derived from natural ingredients (making them a great choice for sensitive skin) and yet are tough enough to stand up to the Texas weather and an active lifestyle. For more info see www.raecosmetics.com.
This article appears in August 12 • 2005.