DIALING FOR DINNER A frightening glimpse into cell phone hell — being served our meal at a favorite restaurant by a waitress busy yakking on her phone. Perhaps we’ll just phone in our order next time, and, by the way, hold the tip.
CALLING ALL SPIES Susan Dell is opening a couture salon, which is a lovely and honorable pursuit. And a very tough business with stiff competition and a small market. Will she be designing these clothes herself and overseeing their production? Or is it the kind of “couture” you buy at the store? Couture, in its strictest sense, is a garment designed and made for a specific person, utilizing the finest fabrics and techniques. But then, through the magic of merchandising mumbo jumbo, “couture” came to mean simply “overpriced.” Dear Susan, what we don’t need is another store hawking the same ridiculously priced, mass-produced merchandise that is available to anyone. What we could use is a high-profile local designer with a sense of adventure and a deep pocketbook to follow in the footsteps of Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera, and Carolyne Roehm, and put Austin on the design map (well, maybe not Carolyne Roehm’s footsteps — she went out of business). What’s up Susan’s sleeve? The Style Avatar will happily dispense fashion advice in exchange for this kind of information. For instance, I once read a reference to Gucci’s Tom Ford having lived in Austin. Is this correct? And did he really say it made no impression on him? Can anyone out there verify this?
TAKE OFF THE DRESS, WE’LL BURN IT TOGETHER, AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS Inspired by Paul Ray‘s announcement of an amnesty program for errant pledgers at KUT-FM (who was possibly inspired by Time Warner Cable’s amnesty program for cable thieves), we here at “After a Fashion,” take great pride in announcing our Fashion Amnesty Program. It’s a hands-on, user-friendly program designed to allow you to renounce your fashion errors and gain absolution. For the ladies, it’s time to stop avoiding the discussion of short skirts. I’m afraid they’ll have to go on hiatus for a while. While they still look right on a certain dress on a certain person on a certain occasion, those looks are becoming scarcer, and after more than 10 years of crotch-grazing fashion, it’s time to freshen our looks with the longer skirts. One inch above the knee looks about right on most figure types right now, in a variety of cuts, and virtually any length below the knee can be flattering if it’s cut correctly. You may renounce your short skirts without penalty for the rest of the year, but come the new millennium, ladies, we won’t be so nice about it. Failure to drop your hemlines could result in a severe penalty, which may include getting a perm and wearing a banana clip. Gentlemen, the oracle for the new millennium shows not a single baseball cap. While you will still be allowed to keep your goatees for a while, the baseball caps, and most specifically backward baseball caps, will have, mercifully, absolutely vanished. Male transgressors will face a severe penalty, which may include getting a perm and wearing a banana clip. Female perps, especially those who persist in pulling their ponytails through the little opening in the back of the cap, will be shot.
SOULLESS STYLE The Style Channel has made its debut somewhat inauspiciously in Austin, through digital television on channel 84. Though it may be hard to imagine enough fashion on video to fill a programming day, there is plenty of it available, which is why I’m surprised that The Style Channel is so boring. Rehashing E! television’s fashion coverage, with lots of old Joan Rivers awards-show commentaries, they also rely on heavy coverage of fashion “events” such as Victoria’s Secret’s fashion shows, which cannot be considered any more of a fashion show than the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is a fashion magazine. Get a grip.
I COVER THE STOREFRONT Vintage westernwear for cowboys and cowgirls makes a great addition to your holiday wardrobe. Under The Sun (1323 S. Congress) is headquarters for the look of the west (no, we don’t mean sunglasses and ballcaps) and has some wonderful pieces of beautifully styled westernwear that bespeak another era of craftsmanship. Fringed and beaded, embroidered and pleated, there are skirts and shirts, jackets and suits. With an extensive selection of boots, hats, neckties, bowling shirts, and cocktail dresses, as well as other assorted vintage apparel, Under The Sun varies the mix with yardage of vintage fabric, deluxe Atomic Age wall clocks, movie posters, bowling trophies, autographs, and rare LPs.
Write to our Style Avatar with your related events, news, and hautey bits: style@auschron.com or PO Box 49066, Austin, 78765 or 458-6910 (fax).
This article appears in October 15 • 1999.