Bobby was nearing his end. When it was time, he wanted to go quietly and simply. After death, he wanted cremation, no funeral, and to have his ashes spread in the woods. His longtime partner Fred understood all that. However, they had never put in place the documents to be sure that is actually what would occur.
When Bobby became comatose, the law gave control to his parents, whom he disliked and seldom saw. They demanded days of grueling, costly intervention (at Bobby’s expense). When he finally died, they shipped the body home to Missouri (which Bobby hated), had a funeral at their church (which Bobby hated even more), and buried him there.
Fred was completely shut out. After a brief trip to grieve with friends, he returned home to find that their apartment had been stripped bare of everything except his own obviously much-larger clothes. After 13 years with Bobby, all Fred had was a stack of hospital bills.
The above is a true Austin story that didn’t have to happen. We all need a will, even without HIV. However, when facing a serious illness, it is especially important that people have various legal documents in place to see that their wishes are carried out in case they are unable to make decisions for themselves, or in case they die. Having or not having valuable property isn’t the point; the point is to have certain things happen the way you want, both while you are alive and after death.
Who will take care of your affairs if you are unable? Do you have a will, powers of attorney for finances and medical care, directions about medical care, funerals, and disposition of your body? If you have minor children, who will care for them and how? All these can be addressed with proper planning and are routinely handled through ASA’s Capital Area AIDS Legal Project.
CAALP will hold a free Wills and Estate Planning Clinic at ASA next Wednesday, Sept. 29, at 6:30pm.. ASA is located at 7215 Cameron, just north of St. Johns.
Experienced staff and volunteer attorneys will be on hand to assess the needs of each HIV-positive client and help accomplish the measures he or she needs. Prior registration is necessary; call CAALP director Liz Cohen at 406-6173. Get your papers in order – don’t let circumstances catch you unprepared.
This article appears in September 24 • 2004.