Good cheer. Peace on Earth. Good will toward (wo)men.

F*ck that. Daddy has his own desires, mmm-kay?

5. Santa, dear. First on my Christmas wishlist is for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: the Musical to come to Austin.

A musical about three drag queens crossing the Australian outback. Has there ever been anything more faboo?

4. Speaking of fabulous, what about an Absolutely Fabulous reunion? Don’t Edina & Patsy drunken antics make it to the top of many a queer’s wishlist? They certainly do mine.

3. All joking aside, I wish for DADT to finally be irrevocably thrown down. And I also wish for those who argue for its continuance see themselves how history will inevitably see them. As The Daily Show so wonderfully put it, it will get worse for you.

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2. A Cher Oscar nomination for Burlesque, no matter how terrible the film actually is. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but you know what I would like to see? This. Who else can be guaranteed to dress like a Vegas show girl waaaaaaaaaaaaay past her prime like the immortal one herself, the Queen of Autotune, the Mistress of Mask, the Right Honorable Lady Cher of Gaytown?

1. For the HIV cure to be true, reproducible, and moderately inexpensive. I don’t know about you but I’ve heard my fair share of HIV “cures” before. Like the others, I’ll believe it when it fulfills the above criteria: reproducible effects, won’t destroy a bank account to acquire and proven effective.

This article appears in December 17 • 2010.

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