Oh, well hello there. C’mon in, dust off that Turkish ottoman over there and have a seat. Let me treat you to the Jimmie D house special. Yes, that is an Emergen-C with spiced rum and ginger ale, I don’t know what you thought it would be. Get your mind out of the gutter and prepare, instead, to get blown.
I’m going to preface this all by saying I wasn’t born with a tail. Contrary to popular belief, I cannot keep that charade up any longer. I was, however, born to a performance artist and skate punk cum slam poet at some point in the early nineteen eighties and have been keepin’ it real here in the ATX ever since. I enjoy telling that joke about how many Austinites it takes to screw in a light bulb, attempting to peddle my wares on Etsy, painting face at all manner and fashion of events around town, and performing gender every possible chance I get. I have been blogging ever since I inherited an old Compaq PC in the mid-nineties and figured out how to work that infernal 54 Kbps modem. This was the olden-times for blogs, let me tell you, I had to code it myself. Can you imagine?
So far as my other credentials are concerned, well, I can’t say I have my Ph.D from UCLA in Blogging, but I’m kind of a big deal. No, really, the Chronicle even says so. I also always know what time it is (with a 4 minute margin of error during the day, 7 minutes at night, and give or take a little if we’ve just sprung forward or fallen back), you have to trust a guy with a flawless internal clock. I will be the only person who knows what time it really is after the Gaypocalypse occurs and everyone else is on perpetual queer time. I also graduated from the University of Texas with a BFA in Studio Art and the equivalent of a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies, but who really knows what that means.
What will I be writing here on the ole Gay Place, you may ask? I’d like to think I’ve got my pinky toe firmly planted in more than a few queer wading pools around town here, so expect a little bit of this and a little bit of that. I also have some of my own mini-Jimmies, so expect to hear about them, too. But mostly, just expect me. And a lot of it.
You can find me performing with Austin’s own drag darlings Kings N Things this Saturday at Tranarchy, if I don’t find you first.
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This article appears in October 1 • 2010.