Did you know that the Gay Place's mascot is named Dandy?

I’ve been thinking a lot about unicorns lately. A lot. Mostly because the live coverage of the DNC has been so very… lacking.

Sample of live coverage:

Anchor One: What’s happening now, Anchor Two?

Anchor Two: It looks like everyone is turning around for a moment of silence.

Anchor One: Is there any particular significance for this moment of silence?

Anchor Two: I don’t know, but it sure is special.

Illuminating.

Naturally my thoughts turn elsewhere…

and where else but to unicorns? Let’s be honest, unicorns have been en vogue recently because – no thanks to a certain YouTube unicorn whose name rhymes with Schmarlie and another one we’ll just call Schmlanet Unicorn – they are soooooo ironic.

Aren’t they?

I mean, the Gay Place logo is a unicorn for a reason, right?

Let’s imagine a queer political party – one that rightfully takes the unicorn for its party mascot. The unicorn makes a perfect political mascot because of what it symbolizes:

  • Health care for all: The unicorn horn is a curative.

  • Safe sex and sex education for all: Unicorns can only be approached by virgins – either sex – virgins who know what their sexual resources are!

  • Eco-friendly policies: Unicorns live in the forest.

  • Magic. (Duh!)

  • Unicorns are for real.
    •

    OK, this blog is proof: Staying up to watch the DNC makes you a little gayer.

    This article appears in August 22 • 2008.

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