“We women are vulnerable. We get lonely and weak in our lives and we get careless. But we have to keep our guard up. Now that I’m older, I definitely keep my guard up.” – Lavelle White
About ten years ago, I wrote about women in music and their choices regarding having children. It was a phenomenally profound experience for me, because the subject was so deeply felt by those with whom I spoke. I found the quote above from Lavelle White in that story and found a lot of comfort in it lately.
I also thought about that story when I picked up Austinite Mary K. Moore’s The Unexpected When You’re Expecting: Clear, Comprehensive Month-By-Month Dread, advertised as “The pregnancy guide that has terrified millions.” The book is a parody, of course, at least that’s what it says in bright pink ribbon across the back. Moore is hosting a book signing and discussion at By George (524 N. Lamar), 6pm Thursday, for her new arrival.
Babies are hardly my usual turf, although I love other people’s and deal with them in bands when they are older. As Coral Browne in Auntie Mame declared, “No, I’m not a mother but after all I’m an actress and I can imagine!” Having recently lived through a summer that included many adolescents lounging about my house, I paraphrase her thusly: “No, I’m not a mother but teenagers have lived with me in the last year and I did see Juno!”
It’s not just fans of Diablo Cody or rocker mommies buying Linkin Park onesies who will appreciate Unexpected. Moore’s broad-based observations are salient outside the nursery and delivered like one-liners in a comedy club: “Say hello to the breasts of a stripper and the bladder of a shriner.” She covers not only the usual issues, such as how to tell your co-workers, but advises on crucial matters such as checking a babysitter’s MySpace page and dealing with new grandparents in the confident tone of a trusted, knowledgeable girlfriend.
Like all good parodies, Unexpected’s advice has a good-humored sensibility about its subject, advocating not just sunscreen but designer knock-off sunglasses for your stylin’ baby or giving the high sign for sex because “it’s just you, your husband, and your God watching – and judging.” Here’s hoping Moore will keep her chops up and tackle a similar guide for teenagers.
This article appears in August 29 • 2008.