They’re waterproof. They’re durable, cute, and generally cheap…(just don’t try to walk on fire with ’em, that most likely won’t work). And they are stink-free. They’re Jelly Shoes, and like it or not, they’ve made a comeback into the 21st century.
Yeah, some say jellies are as ugly a cow’s ass, but this comes from a generation of Croc-wearin’ freaks. Crocs (the oh-so-comfortable, inbred cousin-in-law of the jelly) are way uglier than a cow’s ass. But they are comfy. We’ll give them that.
While observing people in the creepy manner in which I often do, I noticed that one of the other 10 Megans in the room had on a rockin’ pair of jellies, slipper style. The slipper, or ballet design (also known as ‘flats,’ of course, a recent fad themselves), had one little problem: The pretty little girl feet inside them couldn’t breath. Naturally funk followed, so the ladies with the cute shoes had stinky feet. No fun.
Needless to say, when I saw this Megan character with a pair of breathable, adorable, jelly flats, I’m sure I frightened her with my leg-humping enthusiasm:
“HOT SHIT! Where’d ya get those?!?!”
“Um,” (nervous blink) “Target, maybe?”
I liked the answer based on what I’ve seen so far, which is Target reppin’ the jelly flats and sandals. Xhilaration brand, bottom line, cheap and tastefully tacky jelly shoes at their finest.
What other retailers are sportin’ the rubber? Urban Outfitters have caused much ado with their traditional- as well as modern-style jelly shoes at very affordable prices, in vibrant blues, in the ol’ crisscrossed pattern we’re use to. But my favorites are the jelly flats covered with perfectly symmetrical, circular holes.
On the higher end, Marc Jacobs offers some fab jelly sandals and flats for just under the price of a paperclip (if you are a contractor with the Pentagon). Your best bet is to hop online and enjoy surfing through to compare the many makes and models of this jelly shoe phenomenon. ChaoZhou JinXing FootWear Co. has a whole website dedicated to the jelly.
When ‘researching’ the subject at hand, I came across my Christmas present to myself and had my own epiphany: Crocs actually makes a variety of shoes that aren’t ugly! They’re surprisingly super cute, and not bad price-wise. For $25, you can get yourself or your delicately footed friend a pair of Crocs Prima, the rubber-made ballet style shoes, offered in many-a color. Or for the same price, Crocs Alice, just as cute and just as many shades available. I was torn, so I hope you, like I, will just go ahead and spring for both.
Maybe one day you’ll look at your toes covered in jelly and think, “What the f*ck am I doing?”. But for now, just go with the flow and enjoy the airy goodness of this yummy, gummy fashion flashback.
This article appears in November 2 • 2007.