Album Review: Parker Woodland’s There’s No Such Thing as Time

It’s the end of the world as we know it. Parker Woodland feels fine.

Reviewed by Abby Johnston, Fri., Sept. 6, 2024

Parker Woodland live at the Porch in San Marcos (photo by Ismael Quintanilla III)

Joyful songs about the end times are a well-worn songwriting trope. Britney Spears, Prince, the Postal Service. They have all made sparkly odes to the apocalypse that could easily be mistaken for – or double as – dance floor bangers.

Austin trio Parker Woodland carries that tradition in their debut full-length, There’s No Such Thing as Time, a 10-track collection that grapples with some of the existential threats to our planet (climate change) and society (transphobia) set against unapologetically bright punk. The album's arrival during a consequential election year doesn't feel like coincidence: Lead singer and bassist Erin Walter proudly claims the title activist, so her hyphenate roles feel timely as the topics she tackles take on increased prominence in the national spotlight. But that timing also makes the winking joy of songs about it all crashing down a little less theoretical.

Climbing, scuzzy guitar gives way to a driving beat pinned down by drummer Keri Cinquina (Parker Woodland features a rare all-woman rhythm section) in opener “Just in Case.” The song whips between the most classic of punk beats and Blondie-esque chorus flourishes that set the album’s sequins-at-the-funeral tone: “Just in case the sun comes down and burns this whole place to the ground/ I’ve got a plan where we wake up in outer space,” Walter sings, punctuating the chorus as if she knows she has to plot her next moves carefully.

The album works best when it harnesses playfulness as a counterbalance for the gloom. “Ladder at Your Window” seems to set up an apocalyptic escape plan, but its punchy, nanny-nanny-boo-boo chorus – a kind of dare to be brave enough to escape the chaos – feels cheeky rather than fearful, with a distorted guitar crash from Andrew Solin providing the final loving taunt. “The World’s on Fire (and We Still Fall in Love),” a re-recording of the 2021 track, is pure pop-punk adrenaline, complete with group chants in the chorus and euphoric guitar builds, clearly meant as a uniting anthem for mosh pits. Trans rights anthem “Makeup” uses shimmery guitar lines and handclaps to inspire and uplift, a sweet reminder to a community that Republican-led state legislatures are trying to legislate out of existence to “put your glitter on.”

The album works best when it harnesses playfulness as a counterbalance for the gloom.

There’s No Such Thing as Time does occasionally veer into moodier musicality. "Stranger," a slow-building, eerie waltz, is open in its brooding, with Walter lamentations mounting to a full wail by the end. When things slow down, the band's penchant for the air-punching choruses continue – like the alt-rock self-seriousness of "Jets," letting the no-frills production from Emmy-winning, Grammy-nominated Matt Parmenter, owner of Ice Cream Factory Studio, flex itself more prominently. Still, the band feels more at ease when the tempo and tone trend upward.

The closer we get to November, anxiety becomes more palpable. Wildfires continue to rip through the West. It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed. Parker Woodland isn’t offering an escape from any of these capital-I issues. But their version of leaning into them inspires hope that, no matter what, there are still glimpses of light. Throw on your glitter. They’ll keep dancing ’til the world ends.

Parker Woodland will play two album release shows on Sept. 6: Waterloo Records in-store at 5pm and Mohawk indoors at 8pm (sold out).

On Thursday, Sept. 12, Austin City Council will be making a proclamation at City Hall to create Parker Woodland Day.