Fourth of July: Hot Dogs and Innuendos

Tubular hot meat is the grandest way to salute America

Ah, the Fourth of July, America’s greatest holiday. We’ve got it all – explosions, melons, weird fights with your extended family, and, of course, processed meats. And the greatest processed meat of all? The noble hot dog.

Via ThinkStock

According to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, over seven billion hot dogs will be eaten by Americans between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and there has never been a better time for sausage lovers to chow down on a dog or two. Maligned by mainstream gourmands, long resigned to the sidelines by makers of crude jokes and dull innuendos, this historic delicacy of old Frankfurt is getting its day in the Austin sun.

First up, there’s the good people of Glory Hole Hot Dogs. That’s right, there’s a stirring tribute to Old Glory right there in the title, folks – a wholehearted salute to our great nation. They celebrate the hottest dogs from across the land, from The Virgin (a lovely tribute to the popular iconography of the mother Mary that decorates diners all over Texas), a pure beef Nathan’s hot dog with mustard, relish, and ketchup, to their take on the classic Chicago dog. There are celebrations of modern America’s cultural fusion, like the Hungry Dragon, served with ramen on top, or the Sassy Girl, a cheesy mac and jalapeño tribute to the strength of the American woman. What a perfect place to celebrate this wholesome family holiday.

And who could forget about Doggie Style ATX? Reopening on the 3rd of July, the eve of America’s greatest hot dog holiday, the good people of Doggie Style are here to show you there’s nothing more American than a well-dressed doggie, celebrating his right to parade his furry style up and down every street in our great nation.

These doggies are vegan and cruelty-free, bringing a little fun to a plant-based, humane diet with dogs like the special Buffalo Cauliflower dog, topping a vegan frank with a deliciously healthy take on the bar food classic, plus a swish or two of creamy blue “cheese” sauce. Or there’s the Jon Stewart, celebrating the great American tradition of satire with a vegan dog topped with sauerkraut and Russian dressing, Reuben sandwich style.

If all this talk of tubular hot meat and hot meat substitutes has got you hungry, why not join the third annual Austin vegan hot dog eating contest? Benefitting the Central Texas Pig Rescue, this event will feature free beer from the Circle Brewing company, games and laughs for all, and the spectacular sight of Austin’s finest find out how many sausages they can fit in their mouth at once. As the team at Doggie Style says, “We only do it one way.” That’s right: The American Way! And proud of it.

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