The Luv Doc: High School Boyfriend

Hey Luv Doc,

My question might be a bit complicated, but I feel I’ve been lost for months on this one. You see, me and my ex are talking again, and by talking I mean doing everything couples would, just… taking it slower? Just trying to figure out what we want I guess. We started dating our senior year of high school (last school year) and he broke up with me in February 2025. Then we got back together in March and he broke up with me again in May. We were on and off being close all summer, then when we moved here to Austin for school, we decided to go no contact… which I failed miserably at. For one good month, we didn’t talk because well, I distracted myself. Now again we are close. And it’s got its good and its bad, but it feels worth it. We are taking some space right now to think more on what we want and to stop ignoring those sort of subjects, but I still feel lost. Now I know what you’ll say. Leave him! But he genuinely cares about me the way I do him, and our problems came from our own insecurities and attachments, but never any genuine lack of care for one another. We are both trying really hard to be better for each other and ourselves, but I guess I still ask what I should do because… I’m in pain. It’s been almost a year since he first broke up with me, and the thought of it still hurts. I’m not sure I ever truly healed from all we’ve been through. My heart says I love him and things will get better, but my head wonders how I can be with someone who left me broken. Any advice is helpful. Thanks!

– Broken

First of all, thank you for unknowingly taking me on a trip down memory lane. On my first run through of your missive I did some quick math and by my calculations you are … at most … maybe 19? As a person of relatively advanced years it got me to thinking … do I even remember who I was dating at 19? Turns out I do! She dropped me first semester for a busboy at the TGI Friday’s-style restaurant she was working at. Oof. Never underestimate the allure of proximity. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that first year of college is pivotal for a lot of people – especially the ones still dating someone from high school. To be honest, if your high school relationship can survive freshman year, that’s really saying something, but I am not sure it’s saying something good.

Yes, historically there have been plenty of lifelong couples who met as teenagers, but usually those relationships were arranged and divorce was not really a thing. Also, “lifelong” hit a bit different prior to 1900, the year in which average life expectancy in the U.S. jumped to the ripe old age of 47. People in the olden days didn’t have time to explore compatibility by timidly dipping a toe in the dating pool. They took what they could get, which in certain backwoods Appalachian hollers sometimes looked like something off the Island of Dr. Moreau. 

In 2025, U.S. life expectancy is a whopping 79 years. You don’t need to feel the pressure of becoming a grandma by age 32. Just keep your head on a swivel. That’s all I am saying. It’s OK to have strong feelings for a guy from your hometown who has broken up with you twice in the same year. It’s freshman year. I’m sure you’re both really going through it … having a lot of feelings. I would caution you, however, to not let those strong feelings prevent you from getting out and seeing what the world has to offer. I assume you both came to Austin to expand your knowledge. Well, a huge part of a collegiate education is learning how to meet new people and explore new ideas. I’m not saying that you can’t do that successfully with your high school boyfriend and all those feelings of rejection in tow, but it’s a much lower probability. Regardless, I hope you find your soulmate by the time you’re 28.5 … which is statistically the age most women get married these days, but if not, don’t sweat it. It’s a big world out there, and who knows what that statistic will be in 2035?

This article appears in January 9 • 2026.