I’m not convinced that anyone is going into 2026 with high expectations (pun intended). Let’s be honest with ourselves; the Roman calendar doesn’t really set us up for success when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. Starting a new fitness regime is challenging in the middle of winter, and even Texas is not immune to the treachery of Daylight Saving Time, which will be abolished when I’m president of the universe. Budgets and savings goals are well and good until your dog needs a tooth extracted or you get a nail in your tire or, let’s face it, you run out of weed.
The so-called new year is right in the middle of hibernating season. In Austin, the weather snaps from 80 to 45 overnight and we all start to have flashbacks to “The Great Texas Freeze” of 2021. It’s cuffing season, as the kids say – time to stay in, hunker down, and really get into soup. With that in mind, let’s rewrite some other popular goals with a stoner’s mindset.
We all know that we should exercise more, but deep down we also know that the new gym membership isn’t going to last. I’m not against Pilates per se, but I’m starting to be suspicious of the propaganda machine behind it. (Does everyone need to do Pilates? Send me an email and let me know.) My buddy and I like to go on what we call “j-walks.” Sometimes it’s around Lady Bird Lake while we watch the perpetual joggers and their exhausted dogs, but most often it’s just around the neighborhood park. We’ll even watch the sunset from the top of a certain parking garage that I’m going to gatekeep for myself.
If you’re trying to spend more time with family and friends, try inviting them to a cannabis cafe like Cozy Cannabis on West Fourth. If they insist on going out for a drink, try ordering a cannabis cocktail instead of alcohol. In my experience, I’m much more gregarious with a little THC flowing through me than I am two beers in and a little less likely to go on a rant about the Ten Commandments in Texas classrooms, although the chances are never zero. Next thing you know, you’re making plans to play pickleball at Bouldin Acres or agreeing to a double-date at the Escape Game on Red River.
If you’re trying to get off your phone and learn a new skill or hobby, try deleting your social media apps and picking up a Jack Herer or Sour Diesel strain to promote creativity. Create your 2026 vision board, meditate, pick up an instrument, work on your car, make something out of clay. Gen Z is increasingly turning to what they call “Grandma hobbies” as an antidote to chronically online life. Things like knitting, gardening, sewing, and cooking are regaining popularity. Try Cooking With Cannabis by Pat Crocker (descendant of Betty, I assume) and make your own edibles. This is the stoner version of “We have food at home.”
If your goal is to drink less alcohol, try switching to cannabis for a semi-dry January. Like Doechii said, “It’s a natural plant.” Trick your friends into pregaming at your house with a can of Tejas Tonic and watch everyone get cozy on the couch and forget all about calling a rideshare. You can kill two birds with one stone and save money by not ordering $18 cocktails on Rainey Street or spending all your money on Voodoo Doughnuts after getting trashed on Dirty Sixth.
If you’re trying to learn something new this year, consider learning about the history of marijuana through a book like Smoke Signals: A Social History of Marijuana – Medical, Recreational, and Scientific by Martin A. Lee or heading over to Austin Books & Comics to pick up the nonfiction graphic novel Cannabis: The Illegalization of Weed in America by Box Brown for a more fun way to gain more knowledge about a favorite pastime.
Checking in on the Legal THC Battle in Texas
If one of your resolutions is to get more involved with your community – and it should be – this is your call to check in on the Texas THC battle. TABC continues to propose regulations, even with the threat of an all-out federal ban. (If the federal clause calling for a prohibition of hemp products with over 0.4 milligrams of THC in one product goes into effect, pretty much all consumables are on the chopping block.) The goal of the TABC regulations is to keep THC out of the hands of minors, a worthy effort. While I’m a big proponent of recreational use, I think everyone should have a fair shot at developing their prefrontal cortex first. (While we’re at it, we might want to look into regulating Roblox, too…)
Call your representative and let them know if you think prohibition will work this time. If you’re not sure who your representatives are, downloading the 5 Calls app is a good place to start. It can direct you to use your voice on non-cannabis issues as well, but that’s another story for another column. One of my favorite things about this city is the abundance of opportunities for community through getting involved in organizations you care about, connecting through film and food, or just collectively hating on bachelorette parties screaming down Congress on a pedal pub.
Looking Forward to 2026
One of my favorite stoner rituals around the new year is to take an edible and sit down with a piece of paper to make a timeline of the previous year. As a solo practice or with a group of friends, harness your elevated state to reflect on each month of the previous year. Review the challenges and highlights of 2025, identify the most difficult months and the biggest changes. Save it, burn it, let it go.
Whether you’re going into the new year expecting it to be the best year of your life, or you are hanging on by a thread, there is never a bad time to set a new goal or change a bad habit. Allow yourself a moment to process what you’ve been through before you prepare for a new high in 2026.
This article appears in December 26 • 2025.