What do we call hibernation, but in the summer? Do you know?
Hold on, I’m going to conduct a Wikipedia search.
Ah ha, that particular state of dormancy is called aestivation. It’s characterized by inactivity and a lowered metabolic rate during hot seasons, and I’m certain I’ve never heard that word in my entire life.
With September bringing tolerable temps – even the high 80s sounds refreshing right now – it’s the time of year Austinites exit their aestivation state and spend more time outdoors.
I am pro outdoors. I think nature excursions are good for our brains. Especially right now: a little respite from the constant news of caustic politics and the frustration of having to compete with artificial intelligence. I hope these waning summer days bring you into the wilds and, there, we all find peace and inspiration.
So I’m advocating for folks who smoke to consider nature destinations this month. It’s a sneaky way to inspire your friends to hike and explore the outdoors.
It’s easy to initiate this type of hang. All you have to do is pick a bucolic activity and then add smoking weed to it – your friends will agree to things you would never do otherwise. Here’s some examples of texts to send:
“Hey bro, you tryin’ to sit by a creek and smoke a bowl with our feet in the water?”
“Hey check out the sky! Looks like it’s gonna be a crazy sunset. I’m rolling up a blunt. Want to hike up on a bluff and watch it?”
“Hey I’m getting off work early. We should eat some edibles and go birdwatching! I got some sick binocs for you to use.”
If you are feeling cheeky, you might send them a photo of your open hand containing a preroll and flat stone with the message: “How many times do you think you can skip this?”
In Austin there are so many little nature spots – often off the beaten path – that you can hike to in five minutes. That’s why my favorite words to utter, when a smoke sesh is proposed, are “I know a place.” The recipe is simple: a short hike followed by a nice spot to sit.
I’ll march you up a hill to a vista that overlooks the city.
I’ll deliver an unsolicited local history lecture from a trainbridge.
We’ll park in the most random parking lot, then walk down a ravine into where the tallest cypress trees grow along the edge of a still creek.
I’ll take you to the inner city beaver dams.
I’ll get you on a park bench, then produce a bag of peanuts from my pocket and we’ll try to charm the squirrels.
We can catch up, or laugh breathlessly, or just sit in silence and it won’t ever be awkward because there’s plenty of ecology to observe.
These sort of hangs, they might remind us of high school, before we possessed our own spaces to smoke, so we did a nature activity as a cover. But in those irreplaceable times, we were still going on walks in the woods with our friends – even if we had a bong in the backpack.
Puff Puff Pass
Club 420 ATX has closed its doors. Financial troubles at the Downtown cannabis nightclub and dispensary became public on Aug. 20, when owner “Big Dan” Neves posted an Instagram video admitting to being two months behind on rent and having sunk $1.1 million into the business. “Big Dan fuckin’ loves you and it’s been a fun-ass ride,” he signed off. The following Saturday, Neves seemed more upbeat in a pitch for new investors: a 50% stake in the business for $50,000. “If you want to invest in something that is not making a single solitary dime and you think we can pull it out of the trash and save it, guys, send me a direct message today!” he said with an air of salesmanship. “Because you’re right: I’m fat, I’m sweating, I’m broke, and I’m failing, but I’m looking for someone who can help me succeed.” Such a lifeline apparently did not materialize, as the business ended its three-year run on Sunday.
With summer burning to an end, it feels like a good time to shout out some personal highlights that got me through the last three months of dog days:
Favorite refreshing treat that hits the spot when I’m high: The poorly named, but delicious “Grandma’s Nectar” sno-cone from Casey’s Snowballs, which really hits when you add the condensed milk to make it creamy.
Favorite refreshing beverage to get me high: The new Orange Sunshine terp-boosted seltzer from Tejas Tonic.
Favorite place that I’m so glad I smoked before going: The Cockrell Butterfly Center in Houston. It’s a biodome-like two-story enclosure where you’re surrounded by thousands of butterflies and you can pay $10 to release one that just hatched. If you don’t like butterflies – I don’t know what to tell you.
Favorite strain: Mac1 has been my go-to. It’s super potent, creatively stimulating yet physically relaxing, and it has a really unique terp profile that’s both citrusy and spicy.
Applications have been wafting in for the next author of this column. In case you missed the last edition of the Chronic, I’m firing myself from being the Chronicle’s cannabis columnist to make way for someone who is not 41 years old with two kids, three active bands, and a full-time career in public service. There’s been a lot of interest in this, the greatest writing gig in the world, but you still have time to apply. Send a résumé, cover letter, and writing samples with the subject line “Cannabis Columnist” to columns@austinchronicle.com.
This article appears in The 35th Annual Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival.