David James (Fri., noon) Area man, dapper host of Austin’s favorite live comedy game show Laugh, Dammit!
Natalie Cox (Fri., 12:15pm) One Dick Joke a Day writer. Exhibit: “I named my dick squirrel because it’s always hiding my nuts.”
Cody Hustak (Fri., 12:30pm) Local comedian has opened for Doug Benson, Doug Stanhope, and Tom Rhodes; happiness tingles him “somewhere behind the beard area.”
Maggie Maye (Fri., 12:45pm) “Comedian. Writer. Giggler.” Local gal previously opened for Todd Barry, Hannibal Buress, and Godfrey.
Rob Gagnon’s One Hour Comedy Festival (Fri., 1:45pm) A who’s who of generic comedy archetypes, including: “Stoner Comic,” “Some Asshole With a Puppet,” and more.
Live Action Battle Rap (Fri., 2:30pm) Think 8 Mile, neutered of Detroit and urban blight; add bourgeois dorks with acute sense of irony.
Judge G-Su (Fri., 3:15pm) Sketch/improv hybrid from the New Movement, in which comedic verdicts are rendered.
Kyle Dunnigan (Fri., 4pm) Comedian/actor had recurring role as Dep. Trudy Weigel’s serial-killer boyfriend on Comedy Central’s Reno 911.
Matt Bearden (Fri., 4:20pm) Erudite Austin comic and radio personality in no mood to dumb it down.
Kyle Kinane (Fri., 4:50pm) Gruff-voiced wild card can’t be typecast. Sets include everything but the kitchen sink.
Patton Oswalt (Fri., 5:20pm) Legendary comic imbues geeky pop-culture fanaticism with a trademark edge; turns a phrase better than a soused Christopher Hitchens.
Norman Wilkerson (Sat., noon) Stand-up vet/co-founder of the Austin Comedy Trainwreck and owner of “a cat that poops on him.”
Amber Bixby (Sat., 12:10pm) Grim, cynical, yet awash with praise as one of Austin’s funniest stand-ups; dubbed “Comedy’s Sweetheart of Darkness.”
Katie Pengra (Sat., 12:20pm) Local comic and regular performer at Cap City Comedy Club and the Velveeta Room
Ryan Cownie (Sat., 12:30pm) Host of Holy Mountain’s Avalanche: Stand-up Comedy From Austin’s Funniest People.
Lane Krarup (Sat., 12:40pm) Austin-based comedian, podcaster, New Movement player, and part-time rapper straight outta Wisconsin.
Chris Trew (Sat., 1pm) Comedian/amateur rapper/co-founder of the New Movement; packs a lot of weird in the beard.
One Night Stand (Sat., 1:50pm) New Movement talents emcee a hot, alternative dating game for FFF’s body of single, sexually destitute hipsters.
Miami Improv Machine (Sat., 2:45pm) South Beach ringleaders Money Marone and Cashtronaut churn out improv with a sun-kissed twist.
Jenny Slate (Sat., 3:35pm) Actress/comedian, SNL alumna, “addicted to candy and meeting new dogs,” has recurring role on NBC’s Parks and Recreation.
Doug Benson (Sat., 4:05pm) Former High Times “Stoner of the Year” and Super High Me star rolls fatties of frivolity.
Craig Robinson (Sat., 4:35pm) Actor/comedian of Hot Tub Time Machine and The Office fame; hosted season seven of NBC’s Last Comic Standing.
Tenacious D (Sat., 5:20pm) “Mock-rock” duo fronted by actor Jack Black belts out operatic heavy metal ballads and more.
The New Movement (TNM) Comedy (Sun., noon) An annual FFF Comedy staple, TNM is an improv/sketch comedy conservatory and theatre in Downtown Austin.
Veggie Hot Dog Eating Contest (Sun., 12:30pm) A gallery of meat-eschewing gluttons inhale all the veggie dogs they can stomach for the ultimate prize: wholesale ostracism.
Master Pancake Theater (Sun. 1pm) Austin’s answer to MST3K‘s Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo. Professional movie mockers are Alamo Drafthouse darlings.
Chris Tellez (Sun., 1:30pm) Austin-transplant from Dallas who keeps his sets tight “because he has a baby in the car.”
Joe Faina (Sun., 1:40pm) “Comedian. Teacher. Baller.” Hosts Pass the Mic and Point of Order at the New Movement.
Nick Mullen (Sun., 1:50pm) Two-time finalist in the Funniest Person in Austin contest.
Mac Blake (Sun., 2pm) Reigning Funniest Person in Austin.
Altercation Punk Rock Comedy Hour (Sun., 2:15pm) A conglomeration of underground comedy and the “get-in-the-van ethos of Black Flag,” starring founder JT Habsersaat.
Air Sex Championship (Sun., 2:55pm) Thoroughly titillating, never-simulated simulations of actual people boning – thin air. As previously fit for HBO and MTV.
Doug Mellard (Sun., 3:50pm) 2006 FPIA/co-creator of The Hooligan Show spits out punch lines like watermelon seeds.
Bridget Everett (Sun., 4:15) Randy, plus-sized “alt-cabaret” sensation evokes a young Bette Midler on crank.
Rob Delaney (Sun., 4:45pm) Motor-mouthed degenerate with banana in pocket.
Sarah Silverman (Sun., 5:25pm) Iconic Jewess brings cutie-pie veneer and ghastly mouth to scramble taboos like a shaken baby.
This article appears in November 8 • 2013.