Jason X
Year Released: 2001Directed By: Jim Isaac
Starring: Melody Johnson, Melyssa Ade, Peter Mensah, Jonathan Potts, Chuck Campbell, Lisa Ryder, Lexa Doig, Kane Hodder
(R, 93 min.)
(Excerpt of an interview with Friday the 13th boogeyman Jason Voorhees from Scott Bowles' recent autobiography, Freaks Like Me: Confessions of a Movie Psycho). SB: So tell me about your latest film, Jason X. JV: (rolls good eyeball) When New Line Cinema offered me the unique opportunity to star in Jason X, I was sooooooo thrilled. (in a more serious tone) Actually, at the time, I was really frustrated about how I had become typecast in the industry. I wanted to flex my acting muscles, so I had asked my agent to talk up a remake of The Phantom of the Opera, The Elephant Man, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, anything that called for a really ugly guy. Hey, Arnold Schwarzenegger started off as a human killing machine, and then got good parts in Twins and Eraser. Why couldn't I do the same? But all of that effort went nowhere. And I was so sick of wearing that damn hockey mask -- it's terrible for your skin, my face was always breaking out -- and that background music was starting to drive me insane. It sounds like a synthesizer on a Wurlitzer electric organ being unplugged. But I started to get some therapy and to work on my anger issues, and then Michael Myers and I formed a support group. After that, I finally agreed to do the movie. SB: What was the script like? JV: Well, it had a little originality, unlike the other sequels, but not much. The story had me cryogenically frozen, and I end up defrosting on a spaceship in the year 2455. But even with this new angle, it was the same old crap, for the tenth time. SB: And how did that, uh, make you feel? JV: (getting a little agitated, starts to absentmindedly play with machete) V-e-r-y a-n-g-r-y, all over again. It made me want to disembowel, decapitate, skewer, stab, spear, smash, slice, and mutilate people. (pausing) Which is essentially what I do in the movie. SB: How did you feel about your performance? JV: What the hell are you talking about? I run around for the entire two hours and annihilate the entire cast of the movie, one by one. That's it. I mean, what's my motivation? Nothing I learned in Stella Adler's acting class works anymore. And, as usual, I don't have one word of dialogue, not even a grunt. Freddy Krueger, he gets to say all kinds of witty things before he kills someone, but me, nothing. God, I hate that bastard. SB: Any babes in Jason X? JV: Oh, sure. And they all dress like Christina Aguilerra, you know, very über-slutty. Of course, most of the cast is really horny, which means I have to kill them. (chuckling) Just like Paul Lynde said, "What's the matter with kids today?" (with sadness in his voice) My shrink says it's all very Freudian. SB: What does the future hold for Jason Voorhees? JV: (sarcastically) What do you think, Mr. Bowles? A guest shot on Friends? Or may be the next Merchant-Ivory movie? (almost hysterically) There is no future for Jason Voorhees, I'm afraid. I'm doomed! (after a pause) Hey, Mr. Bowles, how would you like to be in my next movie?
Steve Davis [2002-05-03]
