The Cowboy Way

The Cowboy Way is not a good way. It is a stunningly bad movie whose only lifeblood pumps from Woody Harrelson's swagger and grin. The movie totally belongs to Harrelson, which is most astonishing because he reveals only two basic facial expressions here -- a shit-eating grin and a dumber-than-dirt reaction take. He also appears in the buff or the semi-buff numerous times, but never for a reason that advances the plot. His name is Pepper and his begrudging partner's name is Sonny and they've left the rodeo circuit to come to New York City to search for their friend Nacho (Martinez), who, himself, has come east to rescue his daughter. They all get caught up with a violent smuggling ring that illegally imports immigrants from Cuba and then forces them to work in hidden sweatshops. Only gradually do the movie's opening sequences make sense as they inexplicably cross-cut between the pre-history of our cowboy heroes and the ruthlessness of these unidentified smugglers. Best friends Sonny and Pepper start off squabbling about some old resentments from the past, but rest assured, before the movie's over they have an honest talk and resolve their differences. With its fairly thin rescue plot, much of the movie is devoted to our heroes playing rubes in the Big Apple. Initial impressions are akin to the horrors depicted in Neil Simon's The Out-of-Towners: traffic gridlock, snooty citizens, noise pollution, etc. But then they effortlessly maneuver their pick-up truck through dense Manhattan traffic, they stop at the glitzy Waldorf-Astoria because it looks like a “nice little motel,” they ride galloping horses through traffic and across bridges (on an illogical route that provides good scenery). Mounted cop and wannabe cowboy Shaw (Hudson) befriends the duo with actions that in the real world would likely get him thrown off the force. But cowboys-at-heart must stick together. Unbelievably, Hudson's character is one of the movie's better-developed characters; others are simply chess pieces moved around the board. But what can you expect from a movie that has characters writing important phone numbers in the thick dust on a desktop? Bet it'll be hard for his pals to figure out where he's gone. Actually, I had expected more from Austin screenwriter and executive producer Bill Wittliff (Lonesome Dove, Raggedy Man). With its uneven tone switching between breezy comedy banter and outbreaks of sudden violence, this McCloud tale updated for the Nineties has more horseplay than horse sense.