American Cyborg: Steel Warrior

With American Cyborg, Yoram Globus and his new company Global Pictures sever his ties with former co-producer Menachem Golan and offer up this mid-Eighties throwback featuring rampaging cyborgs, a post-nuclear New York, and the last fetus on earth. Yummy. Nicole Hansen is Mary, the only female on the planet still able to bear children in the wake of a global nuclear war. Her mission? Escape from the ruinous, glowing city and make her way to the Atlantic where a team of French bio-engineers in a skiff will spirit off her test-tube-bound fetus to Paris in the hopes of refurbishing the species. Pursued by a muscle-bound blonde killer cyborg (Roy Batty!?), she manages to dupe a wandering Billy Ray Cyrus/Michael Bolton look-alike named Austin into accompanying her through the cannibal-infested streets. Loaded to the top with Globus's trademark gore, babes, and maddeningly bad acting (surprisingly, disappointingly, no gratuitous nudity), this is exactly the kind of film that would work Joe Bob Briggs into such a lather ten years ago. Basically it's nothing but one long (very long) chase scene, with the occasionally blatant swipe from John Carpenter's infinitely better Escape From New York or Ridley Scott's Blade Runner. If you have a rose-tinted taste for this sort of thing (i.e., wooden dialogue, low light levels, lots and lots of extras dying badly), this is as gleefully dumb as they come. If not, flee.