Aces: Iron Eagle III

It's been years since I've come across a film with a script this poor. It's almost as if screenwriter Kevin Elders had set out to consolidate every single action film cliché into one gorgeously awful smorgasbord of cinema excess. If this was indeed the case, then by god, he's succeeded on a scale rivaling Ed Wood, Jr.'s Plan 9 From Outer Space, that most horrible of flops against which all other contenders must be measured. Elders and director Glen manage to incorporate Peruvian cocaine traffickers, USAF conspiracy theories, brazen Latino femme fatales, spunky ghetto kids, good Nazis, bad Nazis, retired RAF pilots and ex-Imperial Japanese businessmen with dishonorable skeletons rattling away in their closets into what must be one of the worst films of the decade thus far. Did I mention that it's also unintentionally hilarious as well? Should I? Gossett once again reprises his role as “Chappy, the high-flying Air Force ace,” who now spends his off days re-enacting the dramatic air battle of WWII alongside a trio of broken down ex-sky-jockeys from England, Japan, and (natch) Germany for the benefit of airshow crowds. When Chappy uncovers a Peruvian/American cocaine connection overseen by his base commander, he takes matters into his own hands -- like any good, old-fashioned, red-white-and-blue hero would do -- and, with his axis/allied flyboys along for the ride, decides to invade Peru on his own, much to the dismay of the aformentioned evil commander. Aces picks up the pace when the action sequences get going, and it's clear that director Glen has no problem blowing things up. Unfortunately, C-4 and Laaz Rockets do not a movie make, and this flak-laden pile of action-genre debris never manages to rise above the admittedly low horizon it's set for itself. I'd check this one out, though, if only for the fact that the male bonding scenes between these four axis/allied warriors are so enchantingly inept. God, they just don't make bad movies like they used to.