https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2012-08-29/the-aggregaytor-august-29/

The AggreGAYtor: August 29

By Brandon Watson, August 29, 2012, 12:20pm, Qmmunity

Geraldo Rivera tries to start a media storm, Andrew Sullivan is feeling atmospheric pressure, and Donald Trump is frosty towards Arianna Huffington. Today’s AggreGAYtor does not have to be a hurricane to turn things around.

• Sunburned Slim Jim Bill O’Reilly defends folks comparing LGBTQ people to pedophiles. The AggreGAYtor has a fantasy about combining Fear Factor with The O'Reilly Factor and maybe X Factor. The sight of Bill bobbing for rats in front of Howard Stern would be the apex of American civilization.

• Third grade craft project Donald Trump thinks Arianna Huffington ain’t got no alibi.

• If someone calls you gay, the appropriate response is almost never hitting them with a hammer.

• Gay blogger bravely infiltrates NOM student conference. Hilarity does not ensue.

• Former Playgirl cover model Geraldo Rivera is still intent on suggesting Janet Napolitano a lesbian.

• The National Organization for Marriage air ad urging African Americans to vote against President Obama.

• Right wing sophists blame Southern Decadence for Hurricane Isaac. The truth was bound to have come out sometime. Homos just love a good hurricane … just ask Andrew Sullivan.

• Equestrian pterodactyl Ann Romney just adores the gay hijinks on Modern Family.

• Continental/ United Airlines humiliate gay couple for the lulz.

• The Center for Marriage Policy, a fuddy-duddy coven closely linked to wet saltine Phyllis Schlafly, thinks that homosexuality is bigger health risk than smoking.

• Campaign worker compares out Congressman David Cicilline to Jerry Sandusky. Classy, except for the “cl” part. Oooh burn!

• Judge closes Prop 8 case, clearing SCOTUS to give the final word.

• Log Cabin Republicans, stop trying to make inclusivity happen! It's not going to happen!

• Unimpeded by reality, a lesbian GOProud member invites Bryan Fischer for a Homocon tête-à-tête.

• If you enjoy reading dry, structurally rigid works of fiction; here’s the full Republican platform.

• Dear Abby tackles transgender advice.

• Satirical site’s Todd Akin post about breast milk curing homosexuality gets taken seriously by some news outlets that are definitely not the AggreGAYtor.

• Sports blog muses on queer wrasslin’.

• The star of Australia’s Jersey Shore knockoff The Shire is arrested for gay bashing.

• Only Jerry Brown’s signature is needed to outlaw conversion therapy in California.

• Mayberry RFD intern David Barton claims gay marriage will bring financial ruin to nation. Presumably this is because gays are responsible for the nationwide craze of minimalist nuptials.

• Congratulations to Kyrsten Sinema, whose win in Arizona primary nudges her towards being the first openly bisexual member of Congress.

• Turns out that most of Lady Gaga’s Twitter followers are fake. Guess she’s just not on the edge of glory anymore.

• It has recently come to my attention that Drew Droege of “Chloe Sevigny” fame will be in Austin for an intimate evening. I hope they serve to-ast.