The AggreGAYtor: August 29

Your daily dose of LGBTQ news

Chloe Sevigny comes to Ohh-stan
Chloe Sevigny comes to Ohh-stan (Screen grab from youtube)

Geraldo Rivera tries to start a media storm, Andrew Sullivan is feeling atmospheric pressure, and Donald Trump is frosty towards Arianna Huffington. Today’s AggreGAYtor does not have to be a hurricane to turn things around.

• Sunburned Slim Jim Bill O’Reilly defends folks comparing LGBTQ people to pedophiles. The AggreGAYtor has a fantasy about combining Fear Factor with The O'Reilly Factor and maybe X Factor. The sight of Bill bobbing for rats in front of Howard Stern would be the apex of American civilization.

• Third grade craft project Donald Trump thinks Arianna Huffington ain’t got no alibi.

• If someone calls you gay, the appropriate response is almost never hitting them with a hammer.

• Gay blogger bravely infiltrates NOM student conference. Hilarity does not ensue.

• Former Playgirl cover model Geraldo Rivera is still intent on suggesting Janet Napolitano a lesbian.

• The National Organization for Marriage air ad urging African Americans to vote against President Obama.

• Right wing sophists blame Southern Decadence for Hurricane Isaac. The truth was bound to have come out sometime. Homos just love a good hurricane … just ask Andrew Sullivan.

• Equestrian pterodactyl Ann Romney just adores the gay hijinks on Modern Family.

• Continental/ United Airlines humiliate gay couple for the lulz.

• The Center for Marriage Policy, a fuddy-duddy coven closely linked to wet saltine Phyllis Schlafly, thinks that homosexuality is bigger health risk than smoking.

• Campaign worker compares out Congressman David Cicilline to Jerry Sandusky. Classy, except for the “cl” part. Oooh burn!

• Judge closes Prop 8 case, clearing SCOTUS to give the final word.

Log Cabin Republicans, stop trying to make inclusivity happen! It's not going to happen!

• Unimpeded by reality, a lesbian GOProud member invites Bryan Fischer for a Homocon tête-à-tête.

• If you enjoy reading dry, structurally rigid works of fiction; here’s the full Republican platform.

Dear Abby tackles transgender advice.

• Satirical site’s Todd Akin post about breast milk curing homosexuality gets taken seriously by some news outlets that are definitely not the AggreGAYtor.

• Sports blog muses on queer wrasslin’.

• The star of Australia’s Jersey Shore knockoff The Shire is arrested for gay bashing.

• Only Jerry Brown’s signature is needed to outlaw conversion therapy in California.

• Mayberry RFD intern David Barton claims gay marriage will bring financial ruin to nation. Presumably this is because gays are responsible for the nationwide craze of minimalist nuptials.

• Congratulations to Kyrsten Sinema, whose win in Arizona primary nudges her towards being the first openly bisexual member of Congress.

• Turns out that most of Lady Gaga’s Twitter followers are fake. Guess she’s just not on the edge of glory anymore.

• It has recently come to my attention that Drew Droege of “Chloe Sevigny” fame will be in Austin for an intimate evening. I hope they serve to-ast.

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

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KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

News, Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump, Arianna Huffington, Hurricane Isaac, Southern Decadence, Andrew Sullivan, National Organization for Marriage, Barack Obama, 2012 Election, Geraldo Rivera, Janet Napolitano, Ann Romney, Modern Family, David Cicilline, United Airlines, Homophobia, Hate Crimes, Center for Marriage Policy, Phyllis Schlafly

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