Memo

From: John Lee Hancock

To: Alamo Casting Dept.

Cc: Michael Eisner

Re: Alamo Casting Suggestions

Howdy y'all!

(Ha-ha, just trying to get into the spirit of our project!)

Anyhoo, I know we've all got some pertinent casting questions at this point -- is Russell Crowe in or out? Is Dennis Quaid in or out? Ethan Hawke, in or out? Billy Bob, in or out (of this world -- ha-ha, y'all! No, seriously, that guy's wacky!)? You see what I'm saying, though, and to that end I've been kicking around some casting ideas you may not have thought of on your own. DisneyCo has always had a tradition of being "nontraditional," and what better way to focus on that than to think outside the box when casting this exciting project, right? OK then:

William Shatner as William Travis/Ricardo Montalban as Santa Anna. Sure they're a little long in the tooth, but we'd be opening up a whole new franchise opportunity. Can't you just see it?

SANTA ANNA

Houston?! Still alive, my old friend?

TRAVIS

Still ... old ... friend. You've managed to kill just about everyone else but like a poor marksman you keep ... missing ... the target!

SANTA ANNA

Grrrr... From hell's heart I stab at thee!

Or how about something a little lighter:

Chris Rock as Jim Bowie and Jackie Chan as Davy Crockett. We could show how this most unlikely of dynamic duos met up and overcame mutual hostilities (Bowie: "Damn, man, that is the stupidest hat I've ever seen." Crockett: "Hey, at least I can put my knife in my pocket and still raise a family") while discovering and imparting valuable life lessons on the importance of recognizing minority rights.

Anyhoo, those are just my thoughts. Let me know if anything rings your bells.

Yours,

John Lee Hancock

Director/The Alamo

A note to readers: Bold and uncensored, The Austin Chronicle has been Austin’s independent news source for almost 40 years, expressing the community’s political and environmental concerns and supporting its active cultural scene. Now more than ever, we need your support to continue supplying Austin with independent, free press. If real news is important to you, please consider making a donation of $5, $10 or whatever you can afford, to help keep our journalism on stands.

Support the Chronicle  

NEWSLETTERS
One click gets you all the newsletters listed below

Breaking news, arts coverage, and daily events

Can't keep up with happenings around town? We can help.

Austin's queerest news and events

Updates for SXSW 2019

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)

Information is power. Support the free press, so we can support Austin.   Support the Chronicle