The Flintbones

The Flintbones

D: Mad Dad Don (1992); with Ron Jeremy and a bunch of people with funny, fake porn names.

Since to my knowledge there has yet to be a porno film by the name of "Cocky and Pullwankle," fans of cartoons and pornography will have to satisfy themselves (as it were) for the time being with The Flintbones, which actually beat its big-screen Hollywood counterpart into release by several years. While the official Flintstones live-action movie took a whopping 34 writers to plot and script (and from the finished product, one has to assume none of them were allowed to see the others' work), this low-budget XXX adventure was penned by its director alone. It tells the typical Flintstonian tale of Jeremy's Red Flintbone (Catchphrase: "Yabba-Dabba-Screw!") having trouble at work from his boss Mr. Straight, dealing with a mischievous alien called the Great Wazoo, and joining in with his buddy Bernie (the film's obvious misstep was in not naming this guy Horny) in trying to get away from their wives (Ready and Willing) and kids (the clearly over-18 "infants" Puddles and Gang-Bang) to get some serious bowling done. Along the way, Red learns a lesson about respecting his wife, and the audience learns that painted-on beard stubble and sweaty sex scenes make for an unpleasantly messy combination. Between the Styrofoam sets, Puddles and Gang-Bang's wry, subtitled commentary, and the sheer outrageousness of the whole situation, this film actually should give you more laughs than its more expensive non-porn counterpart -- but needless to say, it's the "boning" portion of the film that gets 95% percent of the screen time. In a recent interview, Jeremy called this one of his personal favorites. Thank God, though, that he didn't try to do a "Pudley Screw-Right" feature -- that fella sure does love his horse, after all.

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