Election Ticker: You’ve Got to Be Joking

Laughing our way through campaign season

Now running on the Democratic ticket for the position of Texas lieutenant governor: your dad! (Or at least someone with his frame of reference.) Yes, Republican incumbent Dan Patrick is fully turrible, meaning anything positive that Dem nominee Mike Collier does is only extra credit – he's got our endorsement so long as he doesn't call us the Fake News. But if we could lay down a quibble, the candidate's recent email theme – naming public schedule mailers after songs written by old white guys – was super silly. Team Collier titled one missive detailing his schedule "The Road Goes on Forever," a nod to Robert Earl Keen, and Patrick's "Leaving ... on a Jet Plane," for the John Denver jam. What, was "Sweet Caroline-by-line Schedule Readout" already taken?...

Want all the fun of Ken Paxton's campaign without the hatred, vitriol, or stupidity? Go to Twitter, where humor writer Wendi Aarons (of @PaulRyanGosling fame) spent the last week building the brand for @RelaxinP, a parody account of our A.G. On the daily agenda: knocking Big Pax over his standing indictment for state securities fraud. Speaking of which: Last week the NRA endorsed Paxton in his race against Dem (and all-around good guy) Justin Nelson, which is funny, since thanks to his indictment, Paxton cannot purchase a gun...

One of the more exciting congressional candidates this year has been CD 31 Dem MJ Hegar. In fact, the Air Force vet has caused such a stir in her race against Tea Party Republican John Carter that Carter's now getting fundraising money from Henry Cuellar, of all people. The representative from Laredo is technically a Democratic, though he's voted with Trump more than any other Dem in Congress, and is now funding fights against his own party. Thanks, Hank...

The Austin Central Labor Council of union locals held its candidate screenings Sept. 8, and made the following endorsements for City Council: Mayor, Steve Adler; District 3, Pio Renteria; D5, Ann Kitchen; D8, Bobby Levinski; D9, Kathie Tovo. The CLC also endorsed the bond propositions (A-G), and opposed the referendum propositions J and K...For AISD board members, the CLC endorsed Ted Gordon in District 1 and Zachary Price in District 4. Austin Community College: Mitch Fuller, Stephanie Ann Gharakhanian, and Julie Ann Nitsch...

Mayoral challenger Laura Morrison opened her campaign headquarters Sept. 6 (on Guadalupe, opposite Wheatsville Co-op) and said that her campaign's polling confirms that hers is a "winnable" race. She told her supporters that Adler "is vulnerable, he's in trouble," and that the poll reflects that "most voters have not made up their minds yet."...

Friends in homophobic places: Sam Russo, who's running for AISD Board of Trustees in District 9, has been backed by MassResistance Texas. The group has been dubbed an anti-LGBTQ hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and ruffled plenty of feathers last year with the creation of Concerned Parents of Austin (now Texas) who'd like to see AISD pull the plug on their sex ed and diverse families curriculums. Russo is a pastor with Glad Tidings Austin.

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November 2018 Election, Mike Collier, Ken Paxton, Justin Nelson, MJ Hegar, John Carter, Henry Cuellar, Austin Central Labor Council, Laura Morrison, Sam Russo

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