The Austin Chronicle

The Hightower Report

By Jim Hightower, December 20, 2013, News

NSA and DHS defend us against

It's a scary world out there, with global terrorists plotting to kill us.

That's why we must be grateful to the National Security Agency and our Department of Homeland Security. They're constantly on watch, poised to spring to our defense, no matter from what hellhole the threat emanates. Some homegrown cynics say the billions a year we spend on these two agencies of eternal vigilance is wasted. Yeah? Well, let me rub the noses of those cynics in the dangerous mess right in our own midst that was uncovered and efficiently (dare I say heroically?) dealt with by the proud patriots of the NSA and DHS.

I speak of, a diabolical website run by a fiend named Dan McCall. Yes, McCall is an American, but apparently he has been recruited to the dark side, for he's issuing communist-style propaganda that hurts the efforts of our "anti-terror" heroes – or at least it's hurting their feelings.

Specifically, Dan's been selling T-shirts, coffee cups, and other paraphernalia with slogans that mock the two massive spook agencies. For example, one calls DHS the "Department of Homeland Stupidity." Another says: "NSA: The Only Part of Government That Actually Listens." And one even alters the NSA's official logo to read: "Peeping While You're Sleeping."

Top spooks at NSA and DHS were outraged, and both agencies took legal action to try stopping McCall from ... well, from making fun of them. Technically, though, that's not against the law (not yet), so the agencies had to go after him for "mutilation ... or impersonation of government seals."

It turns out that McCall's politics are not at all lefty, but, instead, way out in right field. However, who cares? When two huge, secretive, and powerful agencies try to outlaw parody, that's neither left nor right – it's straight-up stupid.

Copyright © 2017 Austin Chronicle Corporation. All rights reserved.