Hightower Report: Checking Out Corporate Come-ons
Feel like being lied to or deceived today?
Time for another trip into the far, far, far-out world of free enterprise.
Today, Spaceship Hightower makes a journey to the dark side of "the moon of product advertising," taking a peek at what's really behind some of the come-ons in ads and on labels. Our guide is Consumer Reports magazine, which is an expert at finding goofs, glitches, and gotchas. You can always find it at www.consumerreports.org.
Let's begin with Campbell's, the food giant that pushes a line of "Select Harvest" veggie soups, claiming to have "real ingredients, for real taste." Recently, though, the package had a new banner, proclaiming: "Now even better!" Really? No. The new version simply has more sugar, more salt, and less protein.
But here's something from TV Brands that seems awfully useful. Called Insta Slit, it's a gadget for opening those products that come encased in practically impenetrable and thoroughly annoying hard plastic. Great! Except the gadget is encased in practically impenetrable, thoroughly annoying hard plastic. Go figure.
Now, here's one that's just strange. It's the 13-inch folding step stool by the Simplify company. Behind the simple label, however, is a list of 13 warnings (presumably one for each inch of this little stool). Most worrisome, by far, is this caution to purchasers: "Do not leave step stool unattended."
But at least it works, which can't be said for this catalog offering of a beautifully crafted rosewood and brass walking stick. "The perfect gift," the ad exults. Except that a fine print tagline warns, "This item is not capable of human support."
However, even that's a better gift than this suggestion for a Mother's Day surprise: "Get mom a termite treatment this Mother's Day." Yeah, and just wait for the treatment she gives you.
For more info on Jim Hightower's work – and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, "The Hightower Lowdown" – visit www.jimhightower.com. You can hear his radio commentaries on KOOP Radio 91.7FM, weekdays at 10:58am and 12:58pm.